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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

 
09:47: congratulations. you have shattered me. i hope you're happy.



Friday, September 25, 2009

 
04:17: if i had the means, i would sing you this song, in front of a crowd if i have to. and i would mean every word of it.


love i get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when i want to run away
i drive off in my car
but whichever way i go
i come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
i reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
i am complete
in your eyes
i see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
i see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, i want to be that complete
i want to touch the light
the heat i see in your eyes

love, i don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
i get so tired of working so hard for our survival
i look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
i reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
i am complete
in your eyes
i see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
i see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, i want to be that complete
i want to touch the light,
the heat i see in your eyes


--- in your eyes by peter gabriel

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Friday, September 18, 2009

 
15:18: sharing snippets of a chat log from facebook. i was chatting with with an old agent of ours who recently moved to my old company, s***. they recently acquired my old account, hence the reason why our competitor, a**, lost the account here in manila, and also why so many people are leaving our clark site to move to s*** instead.

2:42pm him
im tryna do mah best now so i could apply for product trainer

2:43pm me
haha... go! ;)

2:44pm him
u think that i can do it?

2:46pm me
yeah, why not?

2:47pm him
yeah..thanks!! :D

2:47pm me
just do well and prove yourself, then you're sure to catch the eye of the s*** guys

2:47pm him
yeah..and i intend to!!..

3:03pm him
do u know ****** ***** from wave 8?

3:04pm me
i don't remember

maybe if i seem him

he's there, too?

3:05pm him
yeah..he's our product trainer now..

3:05pm me
oh

he doing ok so far?

3:06pm him
yeah..he's good..but he doesnt compare to u or bogs

3:06pm me
you don't need to suck up to us anymore, **

hahahaha

3:07pm him
u both were mah inspiration to be a product trainer..

and the trainers over at s*** cant compare to u guys..

3:08pm me
awww.. that's sweet

show 'em, then

3:09pm him
thas why i wanna be a product trainer over there and show them wat u guys taught me!!..and imma make the training really really fun like u guys made it..

consider it done!!..

3:09pm me
go for that post and kick their asses in training =P

3:10pm him
the training assisant manager for **** already told me to apply for training apprentice once i hit the floor!!..

3:10pm me
nice!

wala lang. nakakataba ng puso. sean was right. trainers do touch a lot of people. (no, not in that way, you sick freaks.) that's one of the reasons why i want to keep training. as far as "regular" jobs go, it's the only thing i can see myself doing.

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Friday, September 04, 2009

 
11:37: to you who drove me to insanity for a period of two years,

thank you for saving my sanity today.

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Wednesday, September 02, 2009

 
07:17: when i'm exhausted like this, it helps to be able to verbalize positive feelings. and this is about the only positive thing i have right now.

i've spent most of my life being in love with people who didn't know it. one of the things i love about our honest and open relationship is the fact that i can tell you i love you. the fact that i can express what i feel and really have you know it is such a huge help. breakfast with you at the end of draining day is enough to keep me going. you're my happy pill.

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Monday, August 24, 2009

 
12:43: for san, jose, and schmidt. and for anyone else who may have lost someone or may be lost.

sometimes these things happen. we can keep questioning it, but we will never fully understand the reasons why.

if you're directly affected by it, you stop, in a state of shock. time stops for you. then you wish you could pull back the thread, back to when things made sense. but the only thing we have is the little unreliable recorder that runs in our heads. we play it over and over, but "the 3d imax of your mind" doesn't always stay as clear over the years. in time, the memories fade and we start to panic. we start to forget little details. but the truth is, as much as we want to preserve those memories, it's not the details that are important... it's the experiences themselves. the things that have shaped us and have truly stayed with us. that's all that counts.

from an outsider's perspective, you have a clearer head. you think about your own mortality. you remember all the clich├ęs... life is short... carpe diem... no day but today. you think about the things that are important to you. all the things you would like to accomplish while you still have the time. and if you're smart enough, you start acting on them today.


what does this mean to me? this means i need to give some serious thought about my life and where i really want to go.

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Thursday, August 06, 2009

 
06:15: we came in late, see? wasn't sure if the front act had already played or not. but the lights were up and people were walking around, talking to friends who happened to be there. i stayed in my seat, catching up with the two friends who were watching with me, and gawking at my college crush who was seated just a few seats away from me. when the lights went out, people cheered. then people from the 3 rows in front of us started standing. i stood as well, just to check. i expected to see ely. instead i saw him. the god of industrial rock. trent frickin' reznor. i screamed like a fan girl and didn't sit down again until after the show was done. college crush was the first person to stand on his seat and did not once step down from that chair. he was singing along to practically every song. i swear, he's the biggest NIN fan i know. nice to see him enjoying himself. i had fun, too. it was frustrating, trying to get decent photos when all you've got is a camera phone with crappy digital zoom and no flash. but the music was great. and the seats, as expected, were killer. i would've wanted to hear more stuff, but i was pretty happy with what they did. it was so cool when people in the crowd were using lighters and the backllights of their mobile phones when the band toned it down. hearing the fragile was awesome. i was glad i had a jacket on coz i could feel my hair standing on end. overall, a great experience. and, i have to say, NIN + a towel + a can of W = holy hell!

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