jazz.n.java

2009-11-04T09:47:00.001+08:00

congratulations. you have shattered me. i hope you're happy.

2009-09-25T04:17:00.002+08:00

if i had the means, i would sing you this song, in front of a crowd if i have to. and i would mean every word of it.

love i get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when i want to run away
i drive off in my car
but whichever way i go
i come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
i reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
i am complete
in your eyes
i see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
i see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, i want to be that complete
i want to touch the light
the heat i see in your eyes

love, i don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
i get so tired of working so hard for our survival
i look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
i reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
i am complete
in your eyes
i see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
i see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, i want to be that complete
i want to touch the light,
the heat i see in your eyes

--- in your eyes by peter gabriel

2009-09-18T15:18:00.004+08:00

sharing snippets of a chat log from facebook. i was chatting with with an old agent of ours who recently moved to my old company, s***. they recently acquired my old account, hence the reason why our competitor, a**, lost the account here in manila, and also why so many people are leaving our clark site to move to s*** instead.

2:42pm him
im tryna do mah best now so i could apply for product trainer

2:43pm me
haha... go! ;)

2:44pm him
u think that i can do it?

2:46pm me
yeah, why not?

2:47pm him
yeah..thanks!! :D

2:47pm me
just do well and prove yourself, then you're sure to catch the eye of the s*** guys

2:47pm him
yeah..and i intend to!!..

3:03pm him
do u know ****** ***** from wave 8?

3:04pm me
i don't remember

maybe if i seem him

he's there, too?

3:05pm him
yeah..he's our product trainer now..

3:05pm me
oh

he doing ok so far?

3:06pm him
yeah..he's good..but he doesnt compare to u or bogs

3:06pm me
you don't need to suck up to us anymore, **

hahahaha

3:07pm him
u both were mah inspiration to be a product trainer..

and the trainers over at s*** cant compare to u guys..

3:08pm me
awww.. that's sweet

show 'em, then

3:09pm him
thas why i wanna be a product trainer over there and show them wat u guys taught me!!..and imma make the training really really fun like u guys made it..

consider it done!!..

3:09pm me
go for that post and kick their asses in training =P

3:10pm him
the training assisant manager for **** already told me to apply for training apprentice once i hit the floor!!..

3:10pm me
nice!

wala lang. nakakataba ng puso. sean was right. trainers do touch a lot of people. (no, not in that way, you sick freaks.) that's one of the reasons why i want to keep training. as far as "regular" jobs go, it's the only thing i can see myself doing.

2009-09-04T11:37:00.000+08:00

to you who drove me to insanity for a period of two years,

thank you for saving my sanity today.

2009-09-02T07:17:00.001+08:00

when i'm exhausted like this, it helps to be able to verbalize positive feelings. and this is about the only positive thing i have right now.

i've spent most of my life being in love with people who didn't know it. one of the things i love about our honest and open relationship is the fact that i can tell you i love you. the fact that i can express what i feel and really have you know it is such a huge help. breakfast with you at the end of draining day is enough to keep me going. you're my happy pill.

2009-08-24T12:43:00.004+08:00

for san, jose, and schmidt. and for anyone else who may have lost someone or may be lost.

sometimes these things happen. we can keep questioning it, but we will never fully understand the reasons why.

if you're directly affected by it, you stop, in a state of shock. time stops for you. then you wish you could pull back the thread, back to when things made sense. but the only thing we have is the little unreliable recorder that runs in our heads. we play it over and over, but "the 3d imax of your mind" doesn't always stay as clear over the years. in time, the memories fade and we start to panic. we start to forget little details. but the truth is, as much as we want to preserve those memories, it's not the details that are important... it's the experiences themselves. the things that have shaped us and have truly stayed with us. that's all that counts.

from an outsider's perspective, you have a clearer head. you think about your own mortality. you remember all the clichés... life is short... carpe diem... no day but today. you think about the things that are important to you. all the things you would like to accomplish while you still have the time. and if you're smart enough, you start acting on them today.

what does this mean to me? this means i need to give some serious thought about my life and where i really want to go.

2009-08-06T06:15:00.003+08:00

we came in late, see? wasn't sure if the front act had already played or not. but the lights were up and people were walking around, talking to friends who happened to be there. i stayed in my seat, catching up with the two friends who were watching with me, and gawking at my college crush who was seated just a few seats away from me. when the lights went out, people cheered. then people from the 3 rows in front of us started standing. i stood as well, just to check. i expected to see ely. instead i saw him. the god of industrial rock. trent frickin' reznor. i screamed like a fan girl and didn't sit down again until after the show was done. college crush was the first person to stand on his seat and did not once step down from that chair. he was singing along to practically every song. i swear, he's the biggest NIN fan i know. nice to see him enjoying himself. i had fun, too. it was frustrating, trying to get decent photos when all you've got is a camera phone with crappy digital zoom and no flash. but the music was great. and the seats, as expected, were killer. i would've wanted to hear more stuff, but i was pretty happy with what they did. it was so cool when people in the crowd were using lighters and the backllights of their mobile phones when the band toned it down. hearing the fragile was awesome. i was glad i had a jacket on coz i could feel my hair standing on end. overall, a great experience. and, i have to say, NIN + a towel + a can of W = holy hell!

2009-07-28T19:33:00.004+08:00

i got to chat with my former boss this weekend. he wanted to put my french to the test, so he asked me to translate something for him: the string of curses the merovingian said in the restaurant scene in matrix reloaded. he didn't have the text*, so he asked me to remember him the next time i see the film, then tell him what all that meant. so i decided to do a marathon over the weekend.

i still find the movies mind-blowing. especially the first one. i mean the idea, the cinematography, the editing, the effects, the design... all of it was groundbreaking. i remember missing it the first time it was released. surprisingly, they brought it back in the theaters. after watching it the matrix for the first time in g4, i left the theater with a headache. partly because of the fact that we were so close to the screen, partly because of the awesome cinematography and sfx, mostly because of the story. i walked out of the theater shaking my head, thinking, "no... no... it's not true!" yeah, i'm strictly a blue pill person. hahaha!
matrix reloaded was great, too. when it first came out, people were scrambling to get a transcript of that whole scene with the architect, hoping to digest everything that was said in the scene. watching it again helped me gain a better understanding of certain things. the things that i found stupid when i first watched it now made perfect sense. maybe because i'm a different person now.
i have to say that although still good, my least favorite was matrix revolutions, being that it was more action, less talk. brilliant idea to have that fight scene in the rain, though. and like bitter little girl and i had said before, the ending was fitting.

watching the matrix movies made me think of college days. we had a cinematography class where we were asked to pick out a scene/shot from a movie and talk about why we liked it. a lot of people from my class used stuff from the matrix. bullet time, and all that. brilliant stuff, but i found them to be typical and obvious choices for the assignment. i chose something from three kings. not a favorite movie of mine, but i remember this one shot that i really liked. newton thomas sigel does have his moments of brilliance.

i have to say, studying stuff like this took the joy out of watching films. i remember not being able to watch something without criticizing all the elements. i've learned to turn that off, thankfully. watching the matrix movies turned it back on, and it's good to know that i haven't lost that eye. it can be a useful thing, when you're out to annoy other movie-goers. hehehe.

*nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère

2009-07-11T01:49:00.002+08:00

that's so unfair. i would kill for a really good roast beef sandwich. i wish they'd bring back the old arby's in greenhills.

2009-07-07T12:14:00.004+08:00

when i watched the show (the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee) on saturday, the guest speller from the audience was this girl. i was a little disappointed. i had wanted pao to guest, but we didn't get there early enough. after curtain call, they called the girl back on stage, saying some "expert" wanted to clarify some word that was used earlier, or some such. then this guy goes up on stage. he says to her: "your word is: 'marry.' (forgot the length of time specified), i saw you and you took my heart." or something like that. then he started to pull out something from his pocket. he said that his father gave that ring to his mother, and then gave it to him for him to give to hs future wife. he said that he wished she could give it to their children 20 years from now. i don't remember what else was said. girls in the audience kept squealing and going "awwwww...." the girl said yes. they kissed. kinda not nice, but i'm sure it's coz he was overcome with emotions.
i would hate that, though. i mean a gesture like that is great. but i do hate attention. and can you imagine... what if she really didn't want to marry him? how could she say no in front of 300 people?? that's just too much pressure for one girl.
still, i understand why the guy chose to do things that way. they apparently met there, during a run of avenue q. they sat beside each other. they even took the same seats on saturday. sweet. senimental. depressing. but it's nice to know that things like that really do happen. fate. love at first sight. grand gestures. it happens for some people, anyway. seems to me like i'm always doing grand gestures but never getting anything. it's funny how i jump through so many hoops for certain people and how it takes so little for them to make me positively happy, and yet i have such few happy moments.

2009-06-23T09:34:00.004+08:00

i have had a terrible day.

i slept at around 2am on monday morning. i got up a few hours later to go to clark to get my clearance processed. i went to clark, got bounced around, back and forth, between floors and between buildings, trying to find all my stuff and trying to get all the signatures needed for clearance. i couldn't find my gaiman books from karl v, nor my maradona figure which i left on my cpu. well, maybe next time.

i got back home, checked my mail and facebook, and attempted to charge my dying celphone. it would not charge. i tried another outlet. nothing. and another outlet. and a fourth outlet. nada. i tried my old spare charger. still nothing. where was my original charger, the one that came with the kit? lord knows. i left it here at home and it disappeared. i desperately took a crash course in navigating one of jan's spare phones. (i still can't figure it out.) i then took a shower and got ready to go to gateway to hand over some stuff and pay my phone bill. that went well enough.

i went to work, praying that support had fixed my pc which crashed last saturday morning while i was doing my last 2 lesson reports. no such luck. i told zoey about what happened on saturday morning. they went to check on it. it worked, for about 20 or 30 minutes, then died again. they gave me a replacement pc, a vista, while they worked on mine. vista was working fine as i prepped for my classes. 5 minutes before my first class, it forced a reboot and i couldn't override it because i didn't have admin access. i was late for that lesson and had to use the unoccupied pc across from my desk. of course, that snowballed and affected the other lessons i had after that. the vista forced a restart on me twice today. twice. i finished my reports and left the office at 8am. came in 45 minutes early for the start of my shift, and left 4 hours after my shift. if either archie or vicki were still my bosses and they knew about this, they'd kill me for staying at the office for too long. but really, i wouldn't mind spending 14 hours at the office if it didn't involve having your work screwed up by sucky computers.

now i am home. all i've had since i got up to leave for clark was 1 mountain dew on my way back from clark, one chai tea latte at coffee bean in gateway, and one cup of hot milo boosted by a teaspoon of coffee from the office pantry. i have not eaten since sunday evening. i have not had the time to do so. when i got home, i checked the ref... yummy looking food from father's day with the ortegas. i asked the maid to heat me some food, any food, thinking anything from the ortegas was always good. she served me some crap tinola from yesterday's lunch instead. oh, the irony....

but you know what? there was one good thing about this day. and it outweighs all the other bad stuff. know what it is?

2009-06-11T06:09:00.002+08:00

on msn today:

duh. that was obvious even from his first audition on idol.

2009-06-10T07:47:00.002+08:00

don't start. i don't want to hear it.

is any of this supposed to make me fucking feel better? because it sure as hell doesn't.

if i truly write what i feel right now, i will end up punching this fucking pc monitor, so i'll stop.

i don't want your guilt and i don't want your apologies because words aren't enough. SHOW ME.

2009-06-02T21:01:00.002+08:00

i posted an album on one of those social networking sites about a week ago. yesterday, i got a comment that said: "those were the days..."

simple enough comment. but it says a lot. i can't help but read into it. really, for me, what it says is "those were the days... we're never gonna have days like that again."

thank you. because i've tried so hard and have done so much but you never seem to see that. i'm tired. i think we're finally on the same page now... the last page.

2009-05-28T04:44:00.003+08:00

bravo, barcelona!!! thierry henry finally has his champions league title. barça makes history as the first spanish club to win 3 titles in a single year. josep guardiola is in the books as the youngest manager to achieve such success, and on his first year, no less.

barcelona truly was the better team in this match, and i'm not just saying that because i'm a barça fan. between the giving little robert downey, jr. look-alike, xavi, the under-appreciated iniesta, the brilliant striker, eto'o, argentina's hope, messi, the quiet confidence of henry and the big courageous heart of captian carles puyol leading and a host of other brilliant young players, pep guardiola could not hope for a better team. (ok, except maybe to have casillas as a keeper, but valdes does seem to be getting better.) is his success beginner's luck? perhaps. though i highly doubt it. =D

josep guardiola

don't you think pep looks like henry cavill from the tudors?

henry cavill

dang....

2009-05-28T01:57:00.005+08:00

here we go, here we go...

i've been waiting all week to watch the champion's league finals. i was hoping to watch it with other fans, but beggars can't be choosers. etoile and i intended to watch at her folks' place, but she remembered that she had to be at someone's birthday party. pfffft... man u fans! such flakes! so i'm watching via streaming instead.

it's barcelona versus manchester united in rome. here's the story:

this is alex ferguson's 35th year coaching and man u's chance to defend their title. they're hoping to get back-to-back titles in the champions league. they've been great all season and they do play really well outside of the premiere league. ronaldo was voted world player of the year. still, however hot (i mean both skilled and yummy) cristiano ronaldo is, he tends to croak under pressure. then there's wayne rooney. i hate that bastard. and rio ferdinand and all the others.

this is josep guardiola's first year as a coach for barça (2nd, if you count last year, coaching barça's b team). so far he has done extremely well, with barça bagging both the copa del rey and the primera liga titles this year. if they win the champions league, they will be the first spanish team to win triple titles. guardiola will be the stuff of legend. and my favorite player still active on the pitch, lionel messi, is with him all the way. messi came in second to ronaldo in the race for player of the year, but he currently leads in this season's champions league goal count. eto'o, who some consider as the best striker in the world, is in the top scorers too, whereas man u has no real major scorer in the champions league this season. then there's xavi and henry and all my usual favorites. but is it enough? dunno.

so who am i cheering for? barça from the very beginning, baby. if they lose, it's cool. pep guardiola has done well and so has the team. but it would be sooooo sweet if they win.

2009-05-27T01:20:00.004+08:00

been watching this mini-series on tv5 (the french channel, not the former local channel, abc 5) called fete de famille. it's about a family, the merciers, who meet to celebrate their mother's birthday. before they can even start lunch, the mom leaves to run off with another man. last week, there was this scene where the children were asked to meet with their mother and her new beau. just as she arrives with the new guy, the father shows up, walks into the diner, punches the guy in the face, then walks out and drives off before anyone can talk to him. i had a look of shock for about 3 seconds before i exploded into laughter. man, i wish i could do that. i wish any of us could. better yet, i wish my dad could magically rise from his grave, or ashes, i suppose, and just pummel that guy's fat face.

yes, i have a lot of anger. i'm ok, for the most part, as long as i am not provoked. i was provoked last friday over an otherwise excellent dinner prepared by my brother. my brother handled it with excellent tact and wit. hopefully things will go smoothly from now on, but i really highly doubt it. that f******d just seems completely oblivious to all the grief he has caused and continues to lay on us.

anyway, back to that mini-series i was watching. i just watched its final episode, where charlotte, the youngest girl refused to have her wedding unless her father walked her down the aisle. after almost 10 years, i just realized something. it's embarrassing, mostly because it isn't the sort of thing i'd really think of. but i really would have wanted for fuzz to have walked me down the aisle and even dance with me on my wedding day. =(

2009-05-25T18:08:00.004+08:00

the feeling of waking up from a good dream... i haven't had that in a while. in this dream, you stay with me. awkward at first, like an overgrown child on an adult's knee, but later in perfect comfort and security. once again, i have you in my arms. i know it won't last for long, so while the moment is perfect, i tell you i love you in that tongue that we share. i expect no answer from you. i never do. but after a pause, you concede and tell me you love me too, surprising me with a certainty and conviction that i had never seen before. i lean in and we kiss. my heart swells. in the real world, you will never understand how much i love you. but in this dream, in this moment, you do. in this moment, you are mine. in this moment, there are no doubts, no jealousy, only you and me, truly together. then the scene shifts into something strange, like a flashback from a childhood that never played out. i wake up. the perfect moment is over. but my heart is still smiling that same smile it does whenever you hold my hand in the middle of a crowd. i miss you.

2009-05-25T17:13:00.004+08:00

thomas's birthday last night. it's funny. i hadn't seen thom and arni since thom's birthday party last year. it's turning into some sort of annual reunion. it was like the exact same party, only one year later. same caterers, same food, same table settings and flowers and all that. pretty much the same guests, too. thomas has food and tables ready for about 50 people, but no more than 3 tables are ever occupied. when thom's girlfriend asked him where everyone was and who he invited, he just paused to think and didn't say anything, at which point she screamed at him "you didn't invite people, no!" hahaha... our theory is that he's given a budget and everything is arranged for him and that pretty much all he has to do is show up on the night itself.

anyway, this time around richie and rina weren't with us. rich just got discharged from the hospital. he hadn't been feeling well lately. turns out his cholesterol level is way too high and now he's on a strict diet. richie z on a diet... he'll never live.
people, we are talking about a guy who gets his picture taken with bacon because he loves bacon so much. i remember that he once blogged about how he orders a double cheeseburger meal from mcdonald's, takes the fries, puts it in the actual sandwich, then adds some barbecue sauce on it. the guy eats fast food everyday. richie sans cholesterol? i don't see it happening. i only hope rina can keep him in check and keep him healthy.

joining us at thom's party this year was abby. i hadn't seen abby since they graduated from college, but since we last met after the 8-year gap, we've been going out a lot. in fact, in this past week alone, we finished a total of 2 bottles of red wine at my house on thursday, an equivalent of over 2 litres of red horse and 1 bottle of san miguel premium at 2 different bars on saturday, then at thom's party, more beer, some goldschlagger, and a variety of vodka-based drinks. yup. she's not the same innocent abby we used to know, but she sure knows how to party.

other additions to our table at thomas's party this year were thom's cousins, josh and migs. migs apparently plays guitar for a local group. he's a cool kid. thanks to him, i may have found a drummer (possibly the perfect drummer) for tinola. although now i hear our bassist just quit all his bands as of lunch today, so i don't know how that's gonna go.

it was nice to hang out and reminisce about the things we'd do and our screw-ups and famous one-liners from college. it's also good to see where everyone is now. thom seems to be taking school seriously. arni's career as a rapper looks like it's about to take off soon. richie's killing himself with cholesterol. abby and i are slowly turning into alcoholics. and karen cannot stand living in her grandma's house but is quite happy with ted. i hope joey, karl, jel and the others are just as happy.

2009-05-21T05:37:00.002+08:00

i've always been the type of person who believes in signs. it's silly, but i do. last weekend, i lost something very important to me. i got it back the next day and thought nothing of it. i did not think of it as a sign, merely an unfortunate incident that could have gone worse. the following day, i lost something else. it was not as important to me but it was valuable, none the less. again, i thought nothing of it. just an unfortunate incident. it was no big loss. yesterady, that first thing that i lost, that valuable and important thing, died on me. died.

so, ok, i'm listening now, universe. you have my attention, although i do not like what you're saying. still... i believe in signs. if that's what it comes to, then that's what i have to do. maybe this was meant to happen a long time ago and i just tried too hard to fight it. i guess the difference is, i'm tired of trying now. i've been trying for so long, and i never get anything back. i've practically bled myself dry and my efforts are always wasted. i have nothing left. so maybe it really is time. i give up.

2009-05-19T02:12:00.002+08:00

this second half of my first entry back from the dead will be very different form anything i've ever written before, seeing as how i was never really interested in this sort of thing. yesterday, i had a meeting with dd and while reviewing the site, we got around to talking about strengthsfinder. it isn't like me to assess myself this way, but i found the concept interesting and figured it would help others understand me better, and help me to figure myself out, too. so here, for anyone curious enough, are my top 10 strengths and top 5 opportunities based on the 34 identified themes.

strengths:
1.) communication - people strong in the communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. they are good conversationalists and presenters.
2.) harmony - people strong in the harmony theme look for consensus. they don't enjoy conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement.
3.) context - people strong in the context theme enjoy thinking about the past. they understand the present by researching its history.
4.) intellection - people string in the intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. they are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.
5.) adaptability - people strong in the adaptability theme prefer to "go with the flow." they tend to be "now" people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.
6.) achiever - people strong in the achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. they take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.
7.) developer - people strong in the developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. they spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
8.) analytical - people strong in the analytical theme search for reasons and causes. they have the ability to think about all factors that might affect a situation.
9.) connectedness - people strong in the connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. they believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.
10.) learner - people strong in the learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. in particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.

opportunities:
1.) futuristic - people strong in the futuristic theme are inspired by the future and what could be. they inspire others with their visions of the future. (i don't even really get this, but it sounds real hokey and it's definitely not me!)
2.) maximizer -people strong in the maximizer theme focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. they seek to transform something strong into something superb. (not me, either. this is why i would not make a good team manager)
3.) competition - people strong in the competition theme measure their progress against the performance of others. they strive to win first place and revel in contests. (growing up with brothers who always beat me at everything did this.)
4.) self-assurance - people strong in the self-assurance theme feel confident in their ability to manage their own lives. they possess an inner compass that gives them confidence that their decisions are right. (these days, more than ever, i am filled with self-doubt.)
5.) significance - people strong in the significance theme want to be very important in the eyes of others. they are independent and want to be recognized. (eeew. i hate the spotlight.)

2009-05-19T01:14:00.002+08:00

yes, yes, i know. i haven't posted in over a year. so why the hell am i writing again? i don't know. i've kept silent for so long, i'd forgotten what i sounded like.

oh, if i could talk/write in detail about everything that happened while i was away from this beloved blog... but that would take way too long. here's 15 months in one breath: i got the job i wanted, moved out of town, missed home and certain people like mad, got sick and also got sick of being away from home, went back home, and here i am.

trips of note in said 15 months:
1.) trip to pagudpud >> on my own, i traveled for more than half a day on the road. 3 bus rides, 1 tricycle ride, no food, and a cell phone that died before i could get clear directions. wanted to kill my friends when i found out they brought a frickin' van with them and drove in a fraction of the time it took me to get there.
2.) allan's team building at crystal beach >> the same weekend this huge storm hit the area.
3.) tech lead outing zambales >> no sleep at all for 3 days and 2 nights + little food in my tummy + neil handing me endless shots of alcohol because everyone else had stopped drinking = the end of what was once a well-kept secret
4.) xvgts @ redmond >> went to the states for a training summit with the whole team (+ x - les) and got fat on 3 cans of soda, mostly dr. peppers, a day.

there were other noteworthy incidents in the past 15 months, of course, but i will not mention them in this blog. hah! and you thought i would spill dirt....

2008-02-14T15:33:00.003+08:00

i sort of got ambushed today. all day, actually.
buttcrack (not his real name, obviously. and no, he does NOT look anything like a buttcrack) greeted me a happy hearts day. he was the first person to even say hi on the floor. que sweeeet! that was enough of a shock. he tried dragging me to lunch with him. i would've given anything to join him but i couldn't. i needed to take my meds at a later time, so i had to pass. i think he had lunch by himself. poor guy. instead i had lunch with muffin, mickey & 3 gay guys. really, what does that say about me? that's just sad.
second ambush came when one of my agents had to take his break alone. he dragged me with him to smoke. correction, he smoked, i just stayed with him and drank my water. this guy is my team's backbone. i couldn't possibly say no to him.
the third ambush came in the elevator on our way down. the trainers said they needed to talk to me. dunno when, but my guess is it will be very soon. i'm afraid. i'm not sure i'll like what they have to say. i'm about to reach a fork in the road, and i'm not sure which path to take.
the fourth ambush was when i dropped by the escalations area to say goodbye to muffin. someone shoved the rock band mic in my hand and they wouldn't let me leave. i only got to leave because someone from live needed to do an account recovery and we had to stop playing.
oh yes, we have rock band now. i know the game's been out for months, but we weren't supposed to get a copy of it at all. i actually jumped up and down and squealed "rock band! we have rock band!!" when i saw the visiting big boss carry it in. hardware's prize for getting awesome stats, the game is for the exclusive enjoyment of hardware's agents and non-agents. my boss did say "hardware rocks!" so i guess they figured we'd appreciate rocking out. and we do. oh yes. we do. =D

2008-01-21T01:59:00.001+08:00

in a continuing effort to cheer my friend up (and because it was her birthday and i had missed the dinner party she held on saturday), we went out for a very late dinner. a new year means new things and new places, so off we went to this new place that just recently sprang out of nowhere - proud mary.

to be honest, we ended up there because no other place was opened at 22:30 on a sunday night. the place was practically empty, we weren't even sure they were open. only one other couple was there, dining two tables away. we later learned they owned the place. still, the place was quite nice. we didn't regret going there.

if there was one thing we learned in college, it was to look at things with a critical eye. my friend and i immediately started commenting on the decor and the design of the place. there's an area in the front with couches and coffee tables and magazines. almost like a reception area at a spa, i thought.

in hindsight, our local neighborhood bar has sort of the same set-up. it's just more grungy. proud mary has more of a lounge feel.
we were told that it's not completely finished yet. next week, they'll be bringing in the tv's to be placed against the wall. they've got wi-fi, too. coolness!

i'd imagine it's a great place to dine and watch the lifestyle network or discovery travel & living or some such channel. and the staff is friendly and accommodating, too. my only real complaint was that the music ruined things. the atmosphere called for longue or chill-out or starbucks-type music or even pogi jazz. i didn't mind the fact that they had the radio on, but at least put it on wave 89.1 or crossover 105.1 or something more suitable to the atmosphere. i know it's a sunday, but leaving the radio on rj?? i swear, every new (i should say old) song evoked a new facial expression of horror mixed with disgust. but enough about that. let's talk about the food.
i had just had dinner so all i ordered was a mango shake and a banoffee pie. if you like your banoffee with chunky bananas, you'll probably like the way they do it. personally, i'm in it for the toffee, which was rather good, but i felt there wasn't enough of it to balance out the chunks of banana. the mango shake was similar to what you'd find in bizu. it's practically liquid mango. yummmm!
i forgot what the dish was called, but my friend ordered a fried pork dish, which was pretty tasty.
the menu was interesting and i'll make it a point to come back. there are a number of things i'd like to try, like their crab meat soup, or the scampi pasta.

proud mary is located towards the end of tomas morato, just before you reach the abs-cbn compound.

after dinner, we went to kozui, a quaint cafe(?) that serves mostly green tea.
being a fan of chai and green tea, i've always wanted to go there, but never truly found the opportunity to do so. besides, it always looked so intimidating from the outside. i imagined it would look a lot like a chinese restaurant, not unlike le ching in greenhills back in the early '90s. not so. think of it as starbucks, only everything is lime green and everything on the menu is made of tea. and i do mean everything. take their cakes for example - green tea cheesecake and tearamizu (i'm a sucker for corny food names, i'm sorry. i figure this would go well with binalot's calamansi flavored iced tea, kalamantea. nyahahahahaha!).

the idea of having nothing but tea on the menu seems daunting but because green tea is so mild, it does go along with pretty much anything. they have different kinds of green tea and oolong tea, mixed with all sorts of flavors. so far, i have tried an ice blended green tea with butterscotch. i loved it. my friend ordered something with mint and lime. loved that, too. having just come from dinner, we were unable to try any of the food. but there's a lot more to kozui. they've also got cool merchandise for sale.

and the place itself is simple and inviting, not to mention the music was good. heheh.

on the second floor, they've got a nice, quiet area where i am sure i'll be spending lots of time in, either chatting with friends or quietly reading a book by myself.

i honestly wish kozui had more branches. so far it's just this one branch along tomas morato, across from mocha blends.

my review on kozui? i love it!!!!! if you're a tea person, i'm sure you'll love it, too!

(i aoplogize. my friend said if i was to blog about this, we would need proof that i was actually there. with everything around me so japanese, i couldn't help but do the pose.)

2007-11-22T15:55:00.000+08:00

people at work have been asking me about khali. apparently, there are rumors spreading over text that he's dead.

you sick fucks.

karl roy is fine. stop spreading dumb rumors. if you want details and you know me personally, ask me.

2007-09-03T20:27:00.000+08:00

when 2007 started, i said it would be a year of pain. i was right. it took about 8 months before things actually picked up a little. the one person who was once all that made me happy became the main source of my unhappiness for a huge chunk of this year. yes, there still is tension between us. and for my friends who think i'm ok now, i'm not. i meant it when i said i'd stay away, so please don't push it.

i turned into mark cohen. those lines that drove me so long ago when i was first introduced to rent became my motto once more:
"don't breathe too deep... don't think all day... dive into work... drive the other way..." work, luckily, has been kind. the people, the environment, moving up or sideways or whatever... all of it has helped me tremendously. work has made my life a circus, but the dejection was still there. i was very, very close to giving up on a lot of things that used to mean everything to me. and just when i was ready to give up on music, i met someone who rekindled my interest in playing and making music. it sounds maudlin, but it's true.

enter: bassist. i met him in a training class that i was co-facilitating. it wasn't until they actually finished training that we got to talking. turns out, he played the bass. we were looking for a bassist. turned out he played jazz bass. bam! there you go. the following weekend, we jammed with the band. kaboom. the sound i had been looking for. the direction we had been needing. i now have a clearer vision of where things are going. THIS is what i wanted. i admit, i was being hopeful when i first asked this guy if he wanted to join, but seeing how things are going and where things could go... i got more than i had hoped for. yes, tinola is alive. or will be, after i'm done with this play. and i am quite happy, albeit a little frightened.

2007-09-03T19:59:00.000+08:00

working for ech-bach has been such a blast. i never imagined i'd be this happy in this industry. things have been moving so fast, i haven't had time to write about what's been going on and what changes i've been going through at work. suffice to say that all is well, though. still, every now and then i feel like i need to go back to my roots, specially when a show i can't say no to comes along. a dose of atlantis, like i always say. so i filed for a week-long leave from work to do avenue q and be bobby's bitch.
yeah. i kinda miss being bobby's bitch. but not after i felt the bitch slaps the other week, when i took someone with me to rehearsals. i should have seen that coming. dammit.

avenue q... if, like myself, you grew up watching sesame street, the muppet show, fraggle rock and similar shows, and if, like myself, you laugh at people who tend to be overly politically correct or ludicrously uptight or, hell, if you just like laughing at other people, do watch avenue q. onstage from september 7th to the 23rd at rcbc plaza. showtimes are fridays 8pm, saturdays 2pm and 8pm, sundays 3pm. tickets priced at php 500, php 1000, php 1500. splurge a little. i guarantee, it's a fun show.

2007-07-26T12:47:00.000+08:00

i don't like the way i gravitate towards you. i don't like how distracted i get when you're around. and i hate, hate, hate, hate, hate how this is wrong.

baaaaad, lifey. baaaaad.

2007-06-10T09:59:00.000+08:00

por favor, não me ignore. não aja como se eu não existisse.
eu sou real.
talvez você não se lembre, mas o que aconteceu foi real - a coisa mais real que já aconteceu a mim. o que eu senti por você, o que eu ainda sinto por você, é real. este sofrimento é real. esta necessidade de você é real.
eu sou real. então, por favor, não fique aí sem dizer nada, agindo como se eu não passasse de um fantasma.

thanks to my friend, igor, for the translation.

2007-04-19T13:03:00.000+08:00

i have not written an entry in over a month, but if there was ever a time to say something, it's now. the sad thing is, i still do not know what to say.

we've lost a good man. those of us who had enough control in their lives to actually stop right smack in the middle of their work week stormed the hospital to show our support for ricky. it was the least we could do for someone who was always there for us, for anyone and for anything. i'm not sure if his family actually understood how much ricky meant to us. perhaps now they do. they kept saying that they couldn't thank us enough, but the truth is it's us who can never thank ricky enough for all he's done. praying and being there in the hospital these past two nights was all any of us could really do.

i don't know of a more appropriate way to say good bye. so, as cliche as it is, and in true geek fashion...

lay down
your sweet and weary head
night is falling
you have come to journey's end
sleep now
and dream of the ones who came before
they are calling
from across a distant shore

why do you weep?
what are these tears upon your face?
soon you will see
all of your fears will pass away
safe in my arms
you're only sleeping

what can you see
on the horizon?
why do the white gulls call?
across the sea
a pale moon rises
the ships have come to carry you home

and all will turn
to silver glass
a light on the water
all souls pass

hope fades
into the world of night
through shadows falling
out of memory and time
don't say
we have come now to the end
white shores are calling
you and i will meet again
and you'll be here in my arms
just sleeping

what can you see
on the horizon?
why do the white gulls call?
across the sea
a pale moon rises
the ships have come to carry you home

and all will turn
to silver glass
a light on the water
grey ships pass
into the west

---from into the west

2007-02-26T17:16:00.000+08:00

this will be cryptic and emo. sorry.

i wish i had all the answers. i wish i wouldn't have to see my friends hurting this way. i wish i had all the words to make things right. but all i can go by is my own experience, and what's that? nothing.

i keep saying, "hang in there." i keep encouraging people to keep fighting. we're all just going on nothing but the belief that things will all work out right somehow. and i feel like such a hypocrite, telling others to fight and to never give up when i myself am on the verge of giving up everything that makes me happy.
how do you hold on to hope when everything around you is falling apart? what do you do when that which makes you happiest is also that which brings you the most pain? in that way, i understand why someone would choose to end something so good. but although i understand it, i still feel that it isn't the best course of action. not for them. not with this.

as for my own actions on my own dilemma... i haven't decided what to do. if tonight brings an opportunity, then i'll take it.

2007-02-21T17:14:00.000+08:00

finished training for my new post today. welcome to hell, one of the older guys said. indeed. i managed to ace the first exam and got a fairly good score on the second exam, considering it was pretty tricky and i had no idea what i was doing. some of my batchmates will hit the floor tomorrow for a-bay. i get to go back to work on thursday?, 11am eastern. too tired to think of what day that actually is, but i think that means i get tonight and tomorrow to rest, then come back on midnight of friday. i know i should study all my new documents while i'm off from work, but i just started watching an old cartoon yesterday, something i tried to follow on axn when i was back in college. now i'm re-hooked. slam dunk is calling me. tempting. i even bought a bar of hershey's special dark chocolate (to celebrate oficially getting into t02!) and a stock of bread pan for my marathon.

speaking of tempations...
it's sneaky how these caterers serve pork sisig on ash wednesday. i mean, when you're at work, you don't really bother to make a note of what day it is. and when you see sisig and chicken adobo and beef being served for lunch (which is free at our office), there's just no way you're gonna say no to that. next thing you know, your plate is empty and you're saying "ash what now? oh, shi-!!" evil, these catering people.

2007-02-18T23:11:00.000+08:00

i'm still trying to get my mind wrapped around the idea of change. i'm not oppossed to change per se, but let's just say this change isn't something i welcomed or was expecting. what is it that's so attractive about the status quo? maybe i should just start listening to larson's music again.

picture this: you find yourself on the edge of a cliff with a body of water at the bottom. you know you can make the jump, but you're not overly fond of swimming. you also know you have to swim to get out of the area. not taking the jump and going back the way you came would be safe. besides, you like the woods. but it may take ages to find your way out. do you jump?

i took the leap. i'm in the water. here's hoping i don't drown.

2007-02-13T17:24:00.000+08:00

got my final interview scheduled for the trainer spot tomorrow at 5am. nervous.
got something else i'm working on. it's a struggle that i shouldn't even start, specially when i'm so ambivalent about everything right now.
then there's that other thing that i can't do much about, but occupies my thoughts way too much.
i'm fighting three losing battles.

i've been getting the strangest dreams. in one of them, a friend of mine gave me some advice. except that it didn't really sound like advice... it sounded like a prediction made with complete confidence and a certain finality. i don't see that coming true, and i don't want to think of the consequences if it did.
in my dream last night, i was with a stranger who was helping me. i was walking to work (i don't know why i was walking at such a late hour, what with our neighborhood being so creepy) and i started getting leg cramps. the stranger was walking with me to work (i don't know why) and helped me to get rid of my leg cramps (i actually was getting leg cramps from standing and walking around so much when i was in tagaytay over the weekend). there was something else... i'm not sure what it was, but it had something to do with a misconception that the strager had about me, and i didn't know how to clear it up. being with the stranger was oddly comforting, somehow. i don't know what any of it meant. dream interpretations, anyone?

2007-02-06T17:15:00.000+08:00

preliminary interview this morning, finally! wanted to go home after. was seriously considering going on e-out when it was offered coz i keep feeling something is ... off? can't explain it. something just doesn't feel right this week.

on the upside, while i was sitting on the xbox live bay at the start of my shift (because outsiders keep occupying our team's bay), i got to play fifa 07. not the full game, though. we only have the demo game from the live marketplace, but that was good enough. i was using barcelona against manchester united. my first time playing, so the guy from live kicked my ass, but it was fun anyway. using ronaldinho is awesome. also, i can't wait till they release guitar hero ii for the 360! i'll be in the game lab on most days after shift, for sure.

2007-02-02T17:01:00.000+08:00

still waiting for any kind of update on our application. three of us are up for it (that i know of). myself, my teammate, and one of our veteran tier 2's. no word from the training team so far. for someone who likes to be quiet, i sure hate silence at times like these. jeez. say yes, say no, say you've decided to go with someone else, but say SOMETHING.

2007-01-23T17:09:00.000+08:00

work is awesome. the job is easy. i love the account. my team works hard and plays harder. the fact that i was put in this team with just one other person from my wave was actually good, in a sense. it forced me to bond with the rest of the team. and bond i did. our team kicks major ass. being at work and being with these people after shift helped take my mind off of other upsetting personal things and has kept me going.

there have been some changes lately. two weeks ago, openings for tier 2 were announced. 7 people fom our team applied. i didn't. i wasn't interested. a few days after, an opening for trainer was available. it is the one position i've been hoping for since i joined the company and started my training. iko said he'd hit me hard if i didn't apply for the spot. so i did. i figure if i don't get in, i'd be happy where i am, anyway. it doesn't suck to be a tier 1 agent, and i love my team and my teammates and our team manager. i've got nothing to lose. the same day i turned in my application, it was announced that 4 of our 7 applicants were accepted to tier 2, along with 2 of my closest friends from my wave and a few others. our 4 were jason (my seatmate), x, joel, and paolo. wow. i pretty much lost my best buds from the team right there. but hey, i'm happy for them. it makes the team more somber and quiet, but it's still the same team. we've still got our team manager, marj, and we love her. today, marj announced that she's being promoted to escalations team manager. she's leaving us for tier 2.

it's upsetting to think about it. i don't feel abandoned or anything. i'm quite happy for them all. i know that people have to move up sooner or later, and they do deserve it. i just feel sad that work, the one thing that was keeping me steady, is suddenly going through huge changes. i've honestly never been this happy about work outside of theatre. i was hoping it would last a little longer, is all.

2007-01-03T23:59:00.000+08:00

by far, my worst birthday ever. couldn't even sleep, so i had to ask my brother for sleeping pills.
year of pain, i said. sounds like i was right.
thank you for all the birthday greetings, friends. they made me feel loved somehow.

2007-01-02T16:58:00.000+08:00

this will be a year of pain for me.
shut up. don't contradict me.
i forgot how many times i got hurt yesterday. cut myself on new year's eve, hit my head in the cab yesterday, keep hitting my wound, got caught on the cupboard, got my toes stepped on by japanese wooden slippers (chrissake!!)... 2007 equals pain.

2007-01-01T12:50:00.000+08:00

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

huh? i've taken this quiz a bunch of times, but i always get this same result. i don't mind; i like stars. but hope and expectation? what now?
if by that, you mean the hopeless hope that you hang onto when there is no hope, then yeah, that's me. the pathetic, hopeless hoping and unfulfilled expectations.

i'm too lazy to research and verify, but my friend sent this quote through sms and he says it's from neil gaiman. sure sounds like gaiman, so i'll take his word for it:

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art - write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."

happy new year, everyone.

2006-12-31T09:58:00.000+08:00

i've changed, i think. i rather like the change, too. i've noticed that i've come to adapt a cooler demeanour. there are other things i still need to develop, as advised by certain parties, but i'm working on it.

lately i've had flags popping up all around me. i feel like everything is falling into place and that forces are pushing me to do something. but it's frightening to put so much weight on something so uncertain and uncontrolled, and something that can be taken so lightly. there are just too many things that could go wrong.
or is that the point of it all? that the impossibility of it is, in effect, the test?

i'm being strange, i know. i think all that time i spent with my crazy friends from work is going to my head.

whatever. happy new year!

2006-12-23T20:53:00.000+08:00

last-minute christmas shopping yet again. i've just spent about four grand on gifts for my nephew, nieces, and my "baby" for our family kris kringle. haven't done shopping for my friends yet. gotta wait for my pay to come in before i do that. for now, i must be off to bed to recharge for work tomorrow.

i'm dead tired and sleep-deprived crankiness should be kicking in by now, but i'm still pretty darn happy. some days just can't be ruined when you've got happy thoughts, i guess. =D i dunno. maybe it's infectious.

2006-12-18T16:08:00.000+08:00

i hate to bitch about current employers, but let me ask you something...
if you were supposed to get your pay three days ago, and you have just been told that not only is your bank account and atm card not ready, but you aren't even on the master list of the company's employees,
would you be pissed off?

yeah. imagine how i feel. if i didn't love this account so much, i would be ripping people's heads off by now. but i have found that explosive anger and complaining (vocally, at least) are a complete waste of time and energy. so... *breathe haidong gumdo-style* i'm cool.

2006-12-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

apparently, they're making a movie of the original dragonlance. if they get a good response, i hear they plan to keep it going. woot!!! i hope that it does go well and that it covers not just the chronicles, but the legends as well. i'm very excited about this project. i hope they do it well. i must have been about 8 or 9 when i picked up dragons of autumn twilight. it was the first book i ever read with triple-digit pages and is the book that got me started on serious reading. we didn't have the rest of the series back then, so i didn't get to finish the whole set until i was about 13 or so.

from what i've heard so far, lucy lawless is goldmoon, michael rosenbaum is tanis half-elven, jason marsden is tasslehoff burrfoot, michelle trachtenberg is tika waylan, and (for the win!) kiefer sutherland is raistlin majere. i'm guessing this will be animated and that these actors will only be doing voicing, coz, dude, i can't imagine any of them physically portraying those characters. lucy lawless as goldmoon? she's a little too, uhm, ...big. now if she were to play kitiara, i would find that more acceptable. but as far as voicing goes, i guess she'd be alright. i love michael rosenbaum as lex on smallville and i know he's done a lot of voice work before, so i have faith, yeah. i'd say marsden is a prety good choice for tas, although michelle trachtenberg is a bit too young for tika, for me. or maybe i'm just getting an afterimage from her buffy days. jack bauer, though, now that is the perfect raistlin voice! had they chosen someone lesser, then i'd say this project is doomed. because, let's face it, dl fans. everybody loves rasitlin. no true fan of this series would accept anyone less-cooler than kiefer to voice someone as cool as raistlin.

speaking of fantasy fiction fandom and movies, one thing i'm dreading is new line's the hobbit. new line has decided to hire another director. let me restate that in a way fans will understand. new line has decided not to hire peter jackson. who the new director will be, i don't know. but they better do a damn good job of it. i imagine that fans are just thinking "alright, show me what ya got. bring it on!" the best new line can hope for is for fans to still watch for the story, but to come into the theater with their guards up. and fans just don't enjoy a movie as much when that happens. i admit that while pj is not my favorite director out there, i just don't see anyone else doing this movie. fans love him for what he's done with lord of the rings and they expect that same passion, dedication, detail, and that same pj "touch" to the hobbit. tsk, tsk, new line. what have you done? you better come up with something good.

2006-12-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

i don't like competitive gaming. in fact, i don't like competition, period. maybe it stems from being the youngest of six kids and having older brothers beat you at just about everything. builds character, my @$$! i do admit, i like playing games, but i think of myself as a casual gamer. by "casual gamer", i mean someone who plays final fantasy or other rpg's of the sort for 10 hours straight on weekends and maybe an hour or two on weekdays, if i'm not too busy. no, really, i'm not a hardcore game geek. i say this because i don't know a lot of titles. i don't memorise codes for cool moves in fighting games and such. of course i know the classic up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right- b-a-start command for the old nintendo, but then anyone from my generation knows that. i don't look forward to new games. i don't drool over consoles. i think the only reason i ever played with the stuff was because my dad would urge us to. he'd keep buying them, probably in an attempt to keep us home. i don't think i ever truly wanted games or consoles that we didn't already have. but damn this new job of mine.

i want an xbox 360. badly. everyday, i learn something new about that machine, and everyday, our trainer asks us "can your ps2 do that? (or your ps3? do you even have a ps3??)" and i feel bad. don't get me wrong, i don't love our ps2 any less. it's just that the xbox 360 makes it look like, well, a toy. it's not just the machine itself, either. even the games are cooler. gears of war? i don't like shooting games, first or third person, but it's frickin' awesome stuff! even games that are available on other consoles are better on the 360. better graphics, more possibilities.

sigh. santa? have i been good this year?

2006-12-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

living in this house sometimes feels like being in a sitcom. when you sit in the living room and just watch people, you'll notice that as one person leaves, someone else enters. then there's the crazy dialogue, evidence that people here don't really listen to each other (one of my pet peeves). take the conversation over dinner, for example. my brother was fixing the text settings on my niece's word document.

wev: you're ready to print, ri.
rian: ok! tell me when you're ready to print. that's on december 6 na, eh.
wev: when do you need it? (and not in a tone that asks "what did you just say?")

wev: you didn't have an egg cooked for me? ri, have yaya fry naman an egg for me. and have her heat my rice, too.
ri: ok, dad! (goes into the kitchen then comes back out 15 seconds later) dad, do you want egg?

wtf?! active listening, people!!!!!!

2006-11-23T19:43:00.000+08:00

catch mahasa and other bands every thursday at freedom bar, anonas ave., qc! no entrance, good music, affordable rice meals and cheap beer!

beer... i needed a couple of beers to calm my nerves for the football game last night. chelsea just had to lose, huh? barcelona won, at least, so it's not over yet. my favorite moment of the entire night was in the earlier match between spartak moskva and bayern munchen.

allow me describe this classic moment. from a corner kick on the left, the ball comes in good. right on target in the box, and right smack into spartak player, kovac's groin. you see him fold a little and you can almost hear him scream "auuugh!" but the boy has presence of mind. the ball is right there. one touch with his foot, and kaboom! goal number two for spartak. kovac runs off to the side to celebrate, right arm in the air, left hand on his delicates. his team comes to him in celebration and when the last man (freaky, leprechaun boy shishkin) leaves, you find kovac on the ground, doubled over. he stays that way, doubled over and off the field, for another four minutes or so. that was just priceless.

i've been helping my niece with school stuff, trying to get certain people to come to their focus discussion group for her entrepreneurship class. one of the people i got in touch with was an old friend who i love hanging out with, but try not to run into too often coz... well, it's a long story. suffice to say that i always make a big fool of myself when i'm with this friend's older sibling, and i mostly end up wishing the earth would swallow me whole. well, i didn't make a fool of myself this time around, thankfully. ooh. yay! something to be thankful for.

wish i had a yummy stuffed turkey. happy thanksgiving, folks.

2006-11-18T09:34:00.000+08:00

testing blogger beta.... where'd my archives go? please come back.*

warning: amazing race asia spoilers highlight to read.

i can't believe that ernie and jeena are the first ones out of the race. they were such strong contenders that they were my best bet to win. i just don't understand their decision. why get greedy and use the fast forward when you're on the second leg of the race and you're already in the lead anyway? any person who follows the show knows that the game is based on luck. if you do win the fast forward while you're ahead, you may get a huuuuge lead, but you could just as easily lose your lead at the start of the very next round while waiting at an airport.

ugh. now the only filipino representatives left are two ditzy girls who, while i think they can actually make it, are just annoying. i'd rather cheer for the indonesian brothers and the socialite sri lankan.

*fixed! and learning to tweak a couple of things that have been bugging me, too.
i like this labels feature that the new blogger beta has. i'm trying to figure out how to move the label up to the top of each entry. i plan to label my old entries, too, but that will take a while.

2006-11-14T10:29:00.000+08:00

i hate being sick. i couldn't even stay up to watch football this weekend because my eyes were so watery and my head hurt so bad. hence, i missed the game between osasuna and madrid. we lost anyway. slaughtered 1 - 4, all of real madrid's goals by ruud.

i miss the internet. i can atually breathe through one nostril now, so i thought i'd get out of my bedroom, check my mail and say "hi, blog!" and "hi, friends!" now my eyes are welling up again (emo without meaning to be??) so i guess i ought to go back to bed and stay away from radiation. sniff. bye.

2006-11-01T07:55:00.000+08:00

champions league night, so yes, this is a football post.

spartak moskva (0) vs internazionale milan (1)
my thoughts...

the pitch. what is that stuff they use in moscow?? apparently, uefa has allowed the use of synthetic grass and this is the first stadium to use the stuff. it looks like crap. the ball isn't as fast and the bounce is different. i wonder if that's actual soil they use on the pitch? i wonder if it actually feels different from real grass when you fall on it? i wonder if it smells like real grass? yeah, i wonder about these things.

spartak. they're at the bottom of the group and are pretty much out of the competition at this point. it was still a good game, i have to say. they had a couple of scoring chances, the best of which was from their wonder boy, roman shishkin. he is one freaky looking kid. honestly, when i first saw this guy on the pitch, i thought he was an overgrown leprechaun dressed in a moscow uniform for halloween. but man, he's got a great foot! from long range, he struck and hit the bar with an audible bam. an inch lower and inter would have been kicking themselves.

inter. whatever their coach is doing, it's starting to work. they're getting it together now. bayern munchen is already through to the next round; inter is poised to take the other slot in the group. julio cruz has been hauling a lot of arse and getting goals in with the help of figo and ibrahimovic. inter has got a great lineup, even on the bench. it's a shame we don't get to see as much of adriano, samuel, cambiasso, viera, crespo and solari. it's an even bigger shame that with such quality players, they're not getting the results they should be getting, much like real madrid in the past couple of seasons.

fc barcelona (2) vs chelsea fc(2)
my thoughts...

that wasn't a football match. that was a frickin' ice hockey game. the referee gave out 10 yellow cards. there were a lot of dives and a couple of nasty attacks that should have merited a red card. for two teams with such excellent players, that game sucked. they played like children most of the 90+ minutes. admittedly, great goals, specially chelsea's first, but i don't want to even talk about the rest of the match. ptah!

oh, but i hope barça do go through to the next round.

2006-10-31T07:22:00.000+08:00

me: so, what do you think, fuzz? am i wasting my time here? should i just give it all up?
fuzz: what does it mean to you?
me: it means everything to me. and yeah, i don't want to give up.
fuzz: are you ready for everything that comes with it? think.
me: *a flood of memories come rushing in. the colours, the sounds... everything is so real, i start to cry.* yes, fuzz. i am. i'll take it all. like you did. all of that, if it happens, and whatever the hell else goes with it. i get it now. i understand you.
fuzz: alright, then. wait.
me: but that's all i've been doing. i've been waiting since i was 14. you know how i get, fuzz.
fuzz: wait. just wait.

wait, he says. and so i wait. or maybe i should see a goddammed shrink.

happy halloween, kiddies! promise me you'll do something fun tonight. =)

2006-10-19T18:30:00.000+08:00

caught the barça vs chelasea match this morning. chelsea won 1-0. i hate chelsea. but really, i was just happy to see messi play. i did some research on him afterwards. although messi holds the record for barcelona's youngest scorer, the record for the youngest to ever play for the team is held by one paulino alcantara, who also once held the record for barca's youngest scorer, among other things.
who??
i did some more research and guess what i found...

paulino alcantara was filipino. well, mestizo, technically. born in iloilo to an ilongga and a spanish soldier way back in 1896. he was the first filipino and the first asian to ever play for a european club. he played for both the spanish national team, the philippine team, and a couple of local clubs, but most of his footballing days were spent at barça, helping to usher in the club's first golden era.
you can read more about him here.

wow. i luv barça more now.

el classico (real madrid vs barcelona) this weekend! i hope solar sports covers it.

2006-10-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

i could really use a pack of smokes, or a case of beers, or a really fast car, or hell, why not all of the above, right now. because i want to do something monumentally stupid and act out.

2006-10-10T14:39:00.000+08:00

i love the fact that my brother toonic not just loves football, but actually has the power to do something about his love for it.

they got rights to the euro cup, but that won't be for another 2 years. right now, they've got lfp. nyahahaha!

cap your weekend off with the spanish primera liga on solar sports, sundays at midnight. perfect for those sunday nights when you don't want your weekend to end just yet.

on other spanish sports heroes... alonso won again. bugger about scuhmi not finishing the race in suzuka. never thought i'd say it and mean it, but i do. i was hoping he'd kick alonso's arse.

2006-10-03T14:42:00.000+08:00

that was one pretty crazy storm we had. the number of mango trees in our neighborhood has dwindled. sad, really. i remember looking out the car window as a kid, observing how the branches of the mango trees on either side of the street would extend to the center, making it seem like we were driving inside a cave. i loved it.

enough nostalgia. here's what happened before, after, and during the storm.

wednesday. classes for thursday were already called off. i had planned not to watch at freedom because of my interview the next morning, but my friends texted to say that they were watching. late set. they started at around midnight. i missed cha's set to go home early, but i had fun anyway. angela was there and my friends met her.

thursday. my interviewer called to reschedule due to bad weather. good idea. power was gone by late morning. by around noon, the typhoon was in full force. wev and i inspected the damage at around 2pm. we took photos of the destruction. i'll upload them when i get the chance. the typhoon brought down the trees. broadway and 10th were impassable. it was difficult to get around even on foot. we were closed in. already, i was bored shitless. some of my friends were at bruce's, or so i assumed. they wanted me to go there, but i couldn't. the signal was down and it was impossible to send any messages. we were running low on light. the maid had gone to buy candles, but there was only one candle left in the store. wev, jan, rian, paige and i stayed up and played games as long as we could with what little light we had. they gave up at around 10pm and i was still wide awake.

friday. still no power. wev was gone by morning for a davao gig. we made plans to escape boredom. paige went to eastwood to hang with friends. jan went to work. i took rian with me to greenhills. my plan was to hang in starbucks, where i would have enough light to read neverwhere. the place was full. no seats. we walked to bruce's where it was already dark up the stairs and the guard had to light our way all the way to the 4th floor. we hung out for about an hour, attempting to re-build an already finished 3d whodunnit puzzle, then rian and i went to get dr. peppers at the grocery and have dinner somewhere. when we got back to bruce's, obbie was there. we played card games. i suggested going to wilson where they had a generator. we waited for abbey, played scrabble, then left for wilson when abbey got there. jack and his friend were there, waiting for poker buddies. they let us hang with them. rian played with her cousins and the rest of us put the puzzle together. obbie and i give up on putting the frames together. we played cards instead. we ended it at past 2am, when the poker boys, kizzi included, had gone home.

so saturday continued on to my house. we played cards by candlelight and talked until morning. jan made us breakfast, some wicked hotdogs, when she got home from work. we kept talking and joking around. we talked about our first meetings and first impressions of everyone in the group. then we talked about our grievances with every person. throughout all of this, i was hugging the pikachu stuffed toy. it smelled really nice, for some reason. it's ridiculous. anyway, abbey and obbie left at around 3pm, after rounds of catch phrase and waiting for bruce to wake up.

catch phrase obbie-isms

answer: mother, may i
abbey: it's something you say to your female parental unit when you want to do something.
me: may i!
obbie: sex!
me: duuuude... female parental unit! what the hell kind of sick fantasies do you have?!

answer: hardware
obbie: it's... uhm... you know, tools.... when you want to...
abbey and me: huh?
obbie: it's (extending his arm and making a fist)
abbey: hard?
obbie: it's harrrd!! and you (begins a pumping motion with his hips, apparently trying to show that he was wearing something)
abbey and me: (totally not getting it) bwahahahaha

so anyway, obbie and abbey left at 3pm, bruce left at 5:30pm. i tried to get some sleep. got up at 8 for dinner and in the middle of my pathetic tuna and rice meal lit by 2 little tealight candles, the power came back. exactly 8:30 on my phone. i hadn't been expecting it and was so surprised, i said "oh my god, it's a miracle!" i was so excited by the idea of having electricity, i didn't know what to do first. automatically, i plugged in my phone to charge. then i looked at the discs waiting to be watched and screamed in my head "i'll watch tv!" then i thought, "no. i'll take a shower. with the lights on!" (i need the lights on to shave my legs, ok?) and then "no!! internet!!!!!" and "or maybe i'll just sleep first, with the fan on." oh, so many choices. cable was actually down. in the end, i went online for a bit to check my mail, showered, then finished reading my book. the next two days were spent watching desperate housewives. the second season doesn't seem as funny as the first, but i still found it entertaning.

if you've got high speed internet, time to kill, and an interest in shows like x-files and supernatural, download and check out the few episodes available of night stalker. or come over and watch it here! it stars stuart townsend and gabrielle union. it's a revival of a cool, old series from the 80s. i watched all 6 released episodes last night. pretty cool. nasty network pulled it off the air too soon. but then what would you have done if you too were up against the first season of csi?

2006-09-27T10:42:00.000+08:00

my friend is gonna kill me for this, but i'm too sleepy to have a conscience right now. =D

little little girl (9/27/2006 10:33:48 AM): hay finally!! nagsign in din..nakuu..tong mokong na to..ssplitan ko na to eh!! X-(
lifey (9/27/2006 10:34:13 AM): :|
lifey (9/27/2006 10:34:18 AM): inamin din
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:34:18 AM): what??
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:34:21 AM): what??
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:34:27 AM): wala naman..oh..WAIT!!
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:34:32 AM): what i meant was!!
lifey (9/27/2006 10:34:38 AM): oh, suuuuuuuure
lifey (9/27/2006 10:34:42 AM): cover up
lifey (9/27/2006 10:34:45 AM): =))
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:34:48 AM): di ba..when you say i'm gonna split..ibig sabihin you're gonna leave..
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:34:52 AM): di ba!!
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:34:55 AM): i swear!!
lifey (9/27/2006 10:35:21 AM): iba ang "split na 'ko" sa "si-splitan ko 'to"
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:35:33 AM): well..mali lang ako ng conjugation..
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:35:34 AM): !!
lifey (9/27/2006 10:35:41 AM): freudian slip...
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:35:48 AM): NOO..
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:35:51 AM): no talaga!!
lifey (9/27/2006 10:35:53 AM): nuninuninu...
little little girl (9/27/2006 10:35:57 AM): :((

2006-09-25T15:15:00.000+08:00

from east to north west, to west, to south and out of manila. bridgeview, where we met angela and they were treated like royalty even before they played a pretty good set. to kc's, then to my house, where i had to pack for the beach trip. to martin's, where i learned to play bridge and teamed up with bruce and we tried to read each other's minds without much success. we slept at 6am when we were ridiculously laughing at any and every little thing because we were so sleepy. woke louie up so he could get ready to leave for martin's. slept a few hours until jon and charles got there. had breakfast when mark arrived and we headed for batangas.

nasugbu, where we cleaned house, cooked, ate, swam, tossed around a disc, drank, and played cards. mark, louie and i laughed at the others because we couldn't join them. everyone laughed at louie because ... well. if he had a hug counter this past weekend like i do on this blog, he'd probably have a higher hug count than i do right now. butt cramps galore on the ride back to manila, but we did get back safely. i made it to my family dinner where the first thing kizzi said to me was "you're brown." i had wine, wine, water, water, water, coffee, a damn good sandwich with three kinds of damn good mustard, lasagna, and some kfc. there was also an evil looking cake, death by chocolate, but my stomach was regrettably filled to capacity.

ayos!

2006-09-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

i'm still waiting for my prayer to be answered. normally, when one thinks of prayers from someone who isn't particularly religious, what comes to mind is someone asking for miracles or impossibly huge favors. i'm not asking for a miracle. what i'm asking for is really simple. it doesn't even involve anyone other than myself. it's just a minor thing, something most people can seem to do real easily.

prayers can be tricky. you gotta learn to be specific. my sister used to pray that she would find someone from a particular age range. her ideal age gap was about 6 years difference. she got what she wanted. only, the guy was 6 years younger.

maybe that's why i'm not getting my prayer answered. perhaps i've been too specific and they're still looking for some kind of loophole to pull a fast one on me. *lightning*
kidding. but really. i could use that answer real soon.

2006-09-11T20:44:00.000+08:00

i've been at this for over a week now, and i still can't get used to people (most of them older than myself) calling me ma'am. *shudder*

9/11 today. i can't believe it's been 5 years. and i can't believe it's been a year since that day in eastwood... one of two days that i'd rather forget. if you asked me then where i thought i would be in a year's time, my answer would not have been even remotely close to today's actual reality. i thought that things in a certain aspect of my life would move along much quicker. they haven't. seems like i'm retarded in that aspect. there's been some progress. snail's pace progress, but progress nonetheless.

the things that happened last month really shook me up. i'm much, much better now, thanks to music, manga, lost, work, friends who love to laugh, and things like "martian zoo in r c**t". =)

2006-09-01T18:22:00.000+08:00

seems i've been getting some hits from search engine referrals for beck scanlations. so let's be helpful and put some clickable links, eh?

when i do bulk downloads for anime and manga, i look in boxtorrents.com. the search function is only for registered users and sometimes they can't accept new registrations. but you can still use the browse function to look for what you need. just be sure to tick the little boxes and filter your search. it can be tedious and time-consuming to use the browse function, but you do find a lot of other cool stuff along the way.

for newer volumes of beck, basic info, updates and extras, i suggest you visit beckfansite.com. another great site is beck-mcs.org. the latter is actually a french website, but you'll see a little uk flag on the upper left portion to switch to english.

so there. happy hunting, mcs fans!

2006-08-31T10:29:00.000+08:00

a friend of mine has been asking me to go out drinking with him. he lives in the south, and he rarely visits this area, so he bugs me whenever he's here. problem is, the timing is always off. i've had to flake out on him three times these past few weeks. it's not fair, really. after all, he's always been there for me. i've hardly ever been there for him. poor guy... it was his birthday and he's leaving manila soon. i don't know how long he's gonna be gone. he was even offering to cover my cab fare to the bar, to pay for my drinks, and to take me home. there aren't very many guys who'd do that. still, i said no.
what is it with him and me? is it really about timing? or am i just seriously messed up?

2006-08-30T10:15:00.000+08:00

was that me? yes it was. was that him? no it wasn't..
just a trick of the woods!
just a moment,
one peculiar passing moment.
must it all be either less or more,
either plain or grand?
is it always 'or'?
is it never 'and'?
that's what woods are for:
for those moments in the woods...

--- from moments in the woods, from sondheim's into the woods

i tell you, all the musical theatre characters i relate to... they all die.

2006-08-19T13:40:00.000+08:00

wehehehehe. i managed to download scanlations of the first 24 volumes of beck. 25 and 26 are also available for download, but i'll get the last four volumes when they've been completed. let's hope i last that long. in any case, i've also got scans and scanlations of the whole rurouni kenshin series to keep me preoccupied. woot!

ryusuke looks like our guitar player, kc, in this drawing.

p.s. i have no desire to see kc, or any of my bandmates and their friends, play shirtless.

2006-08-15T10:05:00.000+08:00

i've gotten addicted to scanlations of the beck manga. i've only read volumes 11 and 12 here so far. if you know where i can find more scanlations, please, do let me know. fuel my addiction.

taira-kun rocks. and who wouldn't want a bassist who looked like that? =D
i wonder, would ryusuke look as good if he played guitar shirtless??

2006-08-14T18:18:00.000+08:00

got this from sanity lane

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

yehh! chuck norris!

2006-08-09T19:01:00.000+08:00

0 for 3! woohoo!
the bitter little girl asked me if i feel like i've just taken ...nevermind. let's just say it was a disgusting analogy. i said that no, i do not feel that way. why? because i was not in that place yet. there was a lot more to this. this one was different. is different.
and the punches keep coming.

you know what sucks about this quarterlife crisis thing? you think you're getting somewhere then *BAM!* you realise that you're nowhere near where you thought you'd be. a lot of people my age don't even know what they want. what sucks about the whole thing for me is that i do know what i want. well, joe, knowing is not always half the battle. if you think that makes things easier, you have no fricking idea what you're talking about. when you don't know what you want in life, you can loaf around and take time to figure things out. once you know what you want, when you loaf around, you're just a fuck-up. i know what i want to do, but i can never find the right thing that will let me do it. so i settle for the next best thing, which i never last at because i know i'll be happier elsewhere. when you know what you want, you're practically doomed to be unhappy.

forgive the pessimism in the entry above. i've had too many cigs and i'm not stopping just yet.

2006-08-08T17:21:00.000+08:00

into my hands now
the ball is passed
i want the spoils
but not too fast
the world is calling
it's now or neverland
why can't i
stay a child forever and...

---30/90 by jon larson

2006-08-03T22:55:00.000+08:00

abbeyroad tagged me. i'm supposed to name ten of life's simple pleasures that i like the most, then pick ten people to do the same.

here's my list. pretty much in order.

rain. sleeping all day when it's raining. the sound of the rain against my windows. playing, walking or just standing in the rain.

listening to music. hard rock, alternative, jazz, blues, showtunes, even the crud i used to listen to when i was younger. i would go nuts if i ever went deaf.

singing. not to be heard or anything. i just love to sing. i guess it's the same as what abbeyroad said about jamming. i love being a part of music.

being with my brothers and my sister. and my warbin cousins, too. never got enough of them when i was growing up, i guess. and i still can't get enough of them. with maybe the exception of my other brother. nyahaha.

tauron, the flash, and everything that goes with it. i'm sorry. i can't explain.

hanging out with friends. be it drinking with the boys and the usual regulars (the little girl + ron años = extra fun), having a sleepover and doing marathons with bits and phil, or just goofing off with my oldest friends.

caffeine. coffee, definitely. tea, especially chai tea latte. sodas like pepsi, dr. pepper, a&w cream soda.

being alone. sometimes it's nice to just stay in a coffe shop by myself and write.

the early stages of being in love. not that it's where i'm at right now. but what can i say? i'm a girl.

theatre with atlantis regulars. it's been a while. i'm one lucky kid for having gone into this kind of work with these people... i get paid to do what i would pay to do.

your turn. i'm not obliging 10 people but if you're up to it, then why not, eh?

2006-08-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

i have so many thoughts in my head right now, i can't even make any sense out of just one.

it's official. as of tonight, i am the last one standing. my brother has done what we had once never expected him to do, and what a lot of people may be shocked to know he even considered doing. already i can imagine what the holidays and every single family gathering will be like. the pressure is on.

tick... tick... tick... tick...

2006-07-31T17:56:00.000+08:00

unflushable. it's a jeffism i picked up from coupling, one of my favorite shows off the bbc.

Jeff: Steve, you know what I call this type of women? You know, the type you can’t get rid of.
Steve: Is this going to be really tasteless? Am I going to be ashamed to be your friend?
Jeff: (he laughs) There’s a technical term. Just a harmless expression.
Steve: Alright, hit me.
Jeff: Bah, unflushable 'cos they keep bobbing around.

i was with my friends yesterday and we were faced with a situation concerning an unflushable. i had to feel sorry for our friend because i know how difficult it can be to get rid of an unflushable. in fact, i'm trying to get rid of my own unflushable right this very moment. (oh, wow, i just realised that our unflushables have the same nickname! i am seriously allergic to that name.)

i've tried being honest. i've tried being frank. i've tried being cold. this creep does not want to go away. he says he has questions. i should probably be more sympathetic, considering i have unanswered questions of my own.

you got questions? then ask. maybe once i've answered everything, the flush will work.

hmm. there's a thought. closure in flushing.

2006-07-28T16:58:00.000+08:00

my friend, chez kerr (shaker), needs some help for her midterms. by 20th august, they need 4000 unique hits on their website to get a perfect grade for their midterms. at the moment, they have a little over 3000. so, if it's not too much to ask, have a lookee here. nice site, even if i don't really like the band. =P or my other brother, for that matter. hahah.

wev will be playing tomorrow at 6 underground, but i still don't know if i'll be going. i'm not too comfortable in that place. if jan isn't watching, i'll probably skip it and go to martin's instead.

i've not been myself lately. i've taken to reading some of my sister's old books, stuff i used to read in 6th grade. yikes. what i need is a dose of good old atlantis. but seeing as how that's not gonna happen any time soon, alcohol this weekend might do the trick.

2006-07-24T22:37:00.000+08:00

there's this text message that's been going around about cadbury bars being pulled off the european market for salmonella. i decided to have a look at bbc (i love the bbc!) and see if there was any truth in it. turns out there is. but the text message says that the products are to be sold in third world countries for cheaper prices. dunno if there's any truth in that. so before we go boycotting cadbury altogether (can you tell that i love chocolate?), have a look at the article here. they list only seven particular candy bars, and only a couple of these are even seen here in our local markets. so, if you want to be cautious, stay away from these seven:
250g dairy milk turkish
dairy milk caramel
dairy milk mint (that sounds yum)
dairy milk 8 chunk
1kg dairy milk bar
105g dairy milk buttons easter egg
freddo bar (wonder what's in the freddo?)

that's all. i still think that 24-hour chocolate delivery is a brilliant idea.

2006-07-23T03:17:00.000+08:00

the benefit show didn't have much of an audience. disappointing, really. wev's pretty bummed out by it. pretty good music, though. there were a couple of bands that i hadn't heard of, but liked.

razorback played without tirso. if you're used to the 2-guitar set-up, then you'd have missed him, specially with manuel's style so different from both tirso and dave. but then he had this really sweet solo when they did ikot ng mundo (on an aside, manoy said goodbye to me before he left. *siiiigh* he's still so hot.) i know louie and brian well enough to expect good things from them, and they did not disappoint. oh, louie stripped the frets from his 6-string bass. very nice! the whole set was like an improv jam. and i have to admit, wev was damn good. i haven't heard him since the wolfgang tribute gig and i don't know what the hell he's done since then, but man, i was not expecting him to be that good. he frickin' kicked ass. i mean, they all did, but wev truly surprised me. i remember this one time, years back, when wev was really down because he heard that someone said he was holding the band back. whoever said that, i wish he had been there tonight.

isler, lex, frank and the other ryan (friends from my old job) were all there. it was a huge, very pleasant surprise. funny, too, coz i had just been thinking about isler a couple of days before. i wish my friends could have been there to watch. i think wev wants to do another gig, hopefully a more successful one. it's for family, after all, and a very wonderful one at that.

2006-07-22T02:25:00.000+08:00

take away
take away my eyes
sometimes i'd rather be blind

---i'll never cry by alice cooper

on something completely unrelated to the song quote, i wish i could go and watch p.o.t's reunion gig at freedom, but i've promised wev i'd help out at the benefit show tonight. i'll probably have to be there right after my class. that means i'll be dead tired by ... oh, i don't know, after the first band plays.

it's been a pretty weird week. endings and beginnings, mistakes and missed opportunities. i hope next week brings better luck.

plugging time.

what: rock for a cause vol. 22 - 06
where: music museum, greenhills shopping center
when: 22 july 2006, 9pm
who: razorback, drt, mayonnaise, crayola, sunflower day camp, and out of body special
damage: PhP300 per ticket
it's a benefit show for my sister in-law's cousin who was recently diagnosed with cervical spondylosis. cervical spondylosis is a chronic degeneration of the bones (vertebrae) of the neck (cervical spine) and the cushions between the vertebrae (disks). also known as cervical osteoarthritis. if you're interested, call/text 0917*******. you can also get tickets at the venue, but please buy from the people that will be INSIDE the venue (right at the entrance), not from the ticket booth, so that the funds will go to the beneficiary.

what: p.o.t. reunion gig
where: freedom bar, anonas, qc
when: 22 july 2006, dunno what time
who: p.o.t. (with all 4 original members)
damage: er... sorry, don't know
harley has been out of the country for some time now. he's back for a coule of weeks or so, so they wanna have fun. should be great.

what: screamo ii
where: a-venue, scout tuazon (timog), qc
when: 22 july 2006, 8pm
who: saydie, valley of chrome, sultans of snap, arms of the few, peste, tabetha, mothballs, dreadknotz, mahasa, my wounded letters, farplane, little asia, and battlecity
damage: PhP110 w/ 1 beer
as the event's name suggests, this is bound to be noisy. some good bands in there, though.

what: wednesday mid-week riot
where: freedom bar, anonas, qc
when: every wednesday, 9pm-ish
who: pin-up girls, cybelle's robe, tsunami, and mahasa
damage: FREE!!!
freedom bar just re-opened last tuesday. the set-up is better, the place has better lighting now... beers at PhP25 and rice meals at PhP40. expect me to be there every week. if i can. heheh.

2006-07-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

my uncle passed away early this morning. which is weird, because a few hours before he died, i actually thought of him and wondered how he was doing. we had been expecting it for some time now. it doesn't really make it any easier, though. i feel terrible for my cousin. for someone so young (just about half a year older than myself), he's had to go through so much. my cousin lost his older brother and only sibling when he was 13, has had to help take care of my aunt who had a stroke and is partially paralyzed, and has now lost his dad to cancer, as well. i honestly don't know what i'd do if i were him. i don't even know what to do to help him right now. i haven't been to the wake. i guess i'll go tomorrow with one or more of my brothers.

on a somewhat lighter note, toonic says that f1 qualifying today was really interesting and that i should watch it. i dunno... i've kind of lost interest in f1, specially now that montoya's gone. i guess it's still worth it to watch, since montoya wasn't really the only driver i cheered for. besides, there's no football to watch and there isn't really anything else on tv that i watch anymore.

kendo today. that instructor is a slave driver. it will be a miracle if i can use my arms at all when i get up tomorrow. honestly, if i had known they used their left so much, i'd have given this much more thought. shoulda stuck to fencing. i'd love to go back to it, actually. but i still think i'd choose gumdo in a heartbeat if only i could find a damn school.

2006-07-11T03:03:00.000+08:00

zidane, you broke my heart.
why, oh why, oh why did you do that? why, on that game, of all games? why, when there was so much at stake? why, when you were 10 minutes away from going into penalties? why, when you know that there was a 95% chance that you would have scored in penalties? and most importantly, why, when you knew it would have been the last move you would ever do on the pitch?
the frickin' world cup finals! the last game of your career!! whyyyyyyyyy???

whether or not france would have won, i was content in knowing that the french drew first blood with zidane's penalty kick. personally, i think that italy needed the win more than the french did, what with all this crap going on and the possible relegations from the serie a. i didn't even mind that trezeguet missed his penalty. i still think he's a good player and was under-used in this world cup. but for my hero to give a solid headbutt like that from out of nowhere... to be sent-off for a nasty headbutt on the last game of your career... *sigh* the public will never forget that. he will be remembered for it the same way maradonna is remembered for his "hand of god" and his drug scandal.

he won the golden ball, though. to me, the headbutt changes little. did his actions merit a red card? yes. i was absolutely appalled and completely dumbfounded by what he did. does that make him any less better as a player? no, it doesn't. some think that he retaliated because he was called a terrorist.
now, really.
on principle, there is absolutely no excuse for headbutting anyone, no matter what they say to you. but personally, calling an algerian a terrorist is really low, and if i were zidane, i'd have slugged the bastard, too.

2006-07-04T16:06:00.000+08:00

kamalasan naman talaga, o. i get assigned to start my regular shift just as the world cup semi-finals and finals are coming up. geddemit. guess i'll have to rely on replays. AND PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD... DON'T TALK TO ME, TEXT ME, OR SEND ME ANY SORT OF MESSAGE WITH GAME RESULTS AND SPOILERS. don't even mention football at all when you're communicating with me in any way, at least not until i get to see the final match.

no one really thought that france would be a serious threat to spain. but they beat them. no one ever expects brazil to lose. but they did (again). france has taken out two of my top three teams. germany has taken out the other. i've got no one left to cheer for, except for portugal.

am i ever going to root for france?
yes and no. i've been secretly cheering for france this whole time, mainly because i just want to keep seeing zidane play. i'll keep cheering for them in secret, because now i don't want to jinx them.

2006-06-26T17:13:00.000+08:00

it's driving me nuts. it really is.

it's a bit like a race, this whole thing. like an overtaking maneuvre that you have to time perfectly. look for the perfect opening, get the right momentum, make sure there aren't any other cars around that might get in the way of your move. then you go for it. if you're good enough, or lucky enough, you can drive past without any hitches. if you don't have the pace, you'll find the door being closed on you. if you're too agressive, it will take both of you out of the race. tricky, tricky business. one thing's for sure, though. you're gonna run out of laps sooner or later. if you don't make a move to overtake, then you'll never win.

2006-06-15T16:19:00.000+08:00

see? like i said, a routine is never good. now i got sucked into a hole and i can't get out of it. perhaps it's a sign?? maybe. if all else fails, i've still got something to fall back on next month, even if i would really rather not go for it.

my ears are bothering me again. maybe it's a seasonal thing? it was around this time last year when i last had a really bad attack. time to go back to the boring diet for a few weeks. until i'm better, i guess there's not much left to do but finish watching kizzi's friends collection.

2006-05-29T17:04:00.000+08:00

i'm slowly falling into a routine, which is never really good. routines make me restless. still i've got enough going on up there to keep me preoccupied. as long as i've got a notebook to write in and some good music, i'll be fine.

i've received some information that ought to make me happy, but i find myself paralysed with fear. i've never been good at this sort of thing. a part of me wants to forget about it altogether because i don't want complications.
...i'm going in to roger-mode here, aren't i? for all the renthead preaching i do, i am one huge chicken shit hypocrite.
*breathe*
ok, i'll do something about it. just wish i could find the right opportunity.

2006-05-25T15:49:00.000+08:00

my niece, natasha, had her showcase for the rep workshop on tuesday night. they did peter pan. kizzi said they offered her a lesser role for the first act, but she wouldn't take it. she told them she wanted to play wendy (primadonna! haha!). and so she did, for act 2. i kind of got scared when kizzi said that she insisted on playing wendy. i wasn't sure if she could hack it. she was one of the youngest ones in the class. her acting wasn't bad, comparatively. for a five-year old, it was good. but when she sang... tasha has the sweetest voice i have ever heard from someone so young, and i'm not just saying that because she's my niece. parents in the audience were coming up to us after the show to talk about her. other kids wanted to have their picture taken with her. i'm so proud of her! *sniff* the 8-year old boy who played peter pan (and kissed tash!) also deserves kudos. he had the best acting and his voice was very good. all in all, the kids were hilarious and adorable. one of the better children's showcases i've seen.

rian, me and tash

kizzi called just now to tell me that rep wants tash to audition for sound of music. awwww.

2006-05-09T15:52:00.000+08:00

zinedine zidane has played his last match with real madrid. he will be retiring after playing for france in the 2006 world cup. i cried last night. i felt genuine loss. it still makes me cry to think of it. yes, i am that much of a football dork.

you have to understand that although i've always liked football, i did not become a true fan until zizou. my lukewarm interest in the sport turned into near fanaticism after seeing him handle the ball. true, there have been greater players before him and there are greater players that i favor now, and he no longer moves with the same elfin grace, but zizou has always been and will always be my guy. watching him has taught me the true meaning of poetry in motion. i had never heard of zidane before i saw him play and no one needed to even mention him before i recognised his skill. you don't need lip service with this guy. watch him play, and you will know what good football is about.

merci beaucoup, zizou, adieu!

2006-05-02T16:13:00.000+08:00

i kicked my niece off the pc so i could use it. nyahahaha. evil. sometimes, i feel sorry. not today, though.

i hate that we're forced to lie to seem more credible to others. it seems even more silly because most people don't have what it takes to make the lies they've created for themselves believable. oh, well. such is life. we do as we're told and we get paid.

i feel myself starting to get sick. got that itch in the back of my throat and that raw feeling. i wish i could afford berocca. for now, i have to rely on rest and good ol' agua. lots of it, too. methinks we're getting our first set of regular students tomorrow.

2006-04-30T22:08:00.000+08:00

in honor of fuzz, we had mashed potatoes and gravy, hungarian sausages, sauerkraut, caramelized onions, and rootbeer. i miss the old days. nothing quite like dad's gravy. we had to settle for kfc.

i wish they had saved me some of the leftovers, though. had to go to bed right away and get up early for work. sigh. you snooze, you lose.

2006-04-28T20:24:00.000+08:00

i had my first class today. i subbed for a teacher who wasn't in. luckily, the tc gave me a student who was on a relatively higher skill level. he was responsive and hardly seemed shy at all. he asked when something wasn't clear, which is a huge help compared to others who stay silent or say they understand when they really don't. before our class ended, he asked me again for my name. now, that could mean one of two things. either i made a good impression, or i sucked so bad that he's calling the main office to issue a complaint. i wish i could say i feel confident that it's the former, but after finding out that my first interview didn't go as well as i had thought, i don't want to assume anything.

2006-04-23T16:06:00.000+08:00

louie's party last friday was... crazy. for lack of a better word. i got my friend drunk. got myself smashed, as well. i told myself i wouldn't drink more than 4 red horses. ...bwahahahahaha!
running on autopilot is an amazing thing, isn't it? i managed to get myself home and still play host to my guest. and from the moment i stepped inside the house, i was sober. i guess that really says something.

2006-04-15T07:10:00.000+08:00

leaving for south in about an hour. we're going to tagaytay for easter. we normally do this in wilson, but since the house is being renovated and the pool is gone (goodbye, childhood!), the boys decided to borrow the place in tagaytay for the weekend. never been to the property there, so i don't know what to expect. i wonder if there's enough space to toss a disc around? i wonder if they have cable? i wonder if i can convince wev to bring the ps2 so i can play?

i now have half an hour to shower and pack. argh.

happy easter, bunnies! =:)

2006-04-13T16:31:00.000+08:00

i'm helping out a friend. nood naman kayo. sige na, please.

Bituin Escalante's first solo concert at Onstage, Greenbelt on May 12 nd 13. Tickets are priced at 1,200 1,000 800 and 500. For more info, call Thirdline at (632)4260103.

2006-03-30T19:31:00.000+08:00

sa mga nagtatanong kung may yahoogroup na kami, meron na po. just look up 'tinola' in yahoogroups. while you're at it, be spf and join the MaHaSa yahoogroup, na rin. =)

about time i talked about american idol, ya?

here's my top 6, in no particular order.

taylor, the soul spaz with the most distinct voice. great music.
chris, the uncompromising rocker. you got bo and constantine last year, but they are nowhere near this guy. i love that he does not bend to fit america's standards. never ever change, chris!
elliot, the amish boy with soul. his is the kind of voice i melt for. i love his choice of music and his jazzy notes and phrasing.
mandisa, class in a big girl. great voice, too.
paris, the little girl with the big voice. she won me over during auditions when she sang take five. kinda like fantasia, but not quite.
katharine, mcpheever. my female version of elliot. i love her for the same reasons i love elliot, except she's not amish and she's uber pretty. also won me over during her first audition when she sang god bless the child. if i ever meet her, i'd ask her if i could keep her and make her mine.

but... i don't want any of my top 6 to win. i've got other ideas.

ace is undeniably hot, but his voice is just blah.
lisa was a favorite of mine during auditions, but left me unimpressed ever since she sang i am changing. sorry. i've been spoiled by having listened to dreamgirls for months when we staged the show. a friend of mine described her as being too 'disney' and i know exactly what that means. it's like she grew up wanting to be in a disney sitcom. almost like an african american girl for the white man's world.
although i'm not a big fan of hers, i want pickler to win. i feel that everyone will do fine on their own, whether or not they win but i think that if any of my top six win, they'll be a bit too packaged and commercialised and i don't want that for any of them. pickler fits the 'idol' image, and i feel that she'd benefit the most from getting the idol deal. plus, she's got the sob story and the charm to back her up. she lacks a little fullness in her vocals, but she's got a good voice. but country girls winning back to back? not likely.

this week sucked. the theme was music in the 21st century and out of the 10 songs they picked, only 2 or 3 were good. that only points out why i don't listen to the radio anymore: most of the stuff you hear these days is crap.

2006-03-28T06:39:00.000+08:00

about a week ago, i dreamt about his wedding. i didn't go to the ceremony. i'm not sure if they'll even be having a ceremony. but i went to the reception. except i wasn't really invited, so i was just somewhere in the vicinity, sneaking, sort of. i don't know why i was there.

although he told me about it years before, before he even told his own family, it never really sunk in. it finally hit me after that dream. he's getting married. all this time that i've known about his plans to marry someone else, i've never quite known how to feel about it. and i still don't know how to feel about it. all i can say is ... wow. he's really doing it.

bitter little girl and i were talking about love song for a vampire and she said "why don't you sing that for the wedding?" the song is beautiful but extremely obsessive and kind of sad. for me to sing it at my ex-boyfriend's wedding would be a bit much, don't you think?
apparently, she meant my own wedding, whenever the hell that will be. d'oh! obviously, there are issues there that were never really addressed.

i spent yesterday babysitting yuki, shubo and kohei, shubo's friend. they had just arrived from japan. the others had wedding errands to run and since the young ones wanted to go to the mall and only yuki can kind of get by with her english, i stayed with them while they grabbed a snack and did their shopping. i finally met shubo. i remember seeing pictures of him when we were younger. i always found him cute. he's cuter now. very cute, in fact. after shopping and dinner, i stayed at the house and waited for our driver to come pick me up.

at the house, he asked me to go to his wedding.
how weird is that?
or perhaps i should not find that so odd. after all, i have known their family for more than half of my life. they're my second family. i've spent birthdays, christmases, new years celebrations and countless other non-events with them. the invitation, like a lot of other things he says, was more of a statement, not a question.
sigh.
much as i am trying to simplify my life these days by avoiding drama, opportunities for drama seem to hunt me down. i wanted to say no. i really wanted to say no. going to your ex's wedding is just too damn awkward.
but i want him to feel that i know how big of a deal this is, in spite of bitter little girl's disinterest in the whole matter, and i want to show my support my being there. at the same time, i also wanted to show him that i'm not affected by officially losing him. although that last bit is subject to debate. i think that maybe a part of me still cannot believe that he's really going through with it and i think that part of me needs some form of closure.

at the end of the night, i said ok.
am i doing the right thing here? can i really do this?

2006-03-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

i wanted another yaj incident, an interesting scene you could stick into the movie in my head.
but i grew up yesterday. i told you how i felt straight out. no drama, no bull. and in a way i'm glad it wasn't an uncomfortable scene because apart from the fact that you're a two-timing cheat and that you can be so very pushy sometimes, we actually weren't bad together. i've had some great conversations with you, which i can't say about very many people and a small part of me doesn't want to lose that, so it's nice to know that we can still talk.

i learned a lot but now my experiment is over. thanks. now, give me my stuff back and leave me alone.

2006-03-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

if you had been online over the weekend, you'd have known i was in a pissy mood by my status on yahoo! messenger. what was it? oh, yeah. it said '*sigh* fuck you all.' what can i say, i had a very bad week. things just kept going downhill after my last post.

our first gig sucked*. ok, not completely, but i know we could have done better. after a day like that, i was just looking forward to some rock and roll and alcohol. denied, because the boys' mhs gig was cut short by rjp. what a ---.

crappy though last week was, this week made up for it. f1 is back. it's gonna be an awesome season, i can tell. williams, although they may not have the best car, has found the most promising drivers in both mark webber and nico rosberg.

i finally got my dvd of rent. i managed to wait a full two days of having it with me before i watched it. that, of course, means i cried multiple times. even when i watched it again with the commentary on. as expected, i wasn't ecstatic about chirs columbus' direction, but there were a few changes made that worked really well. there were also a a few changes that i was unhappy with. overall, only one thing really pissed me off. coming from a huge renthead, i'd say that's not bad.

the rest of the week was all about fun, sloth and gluttony, and being painfully aware of certain truths that cannot be changed at the moment. today, i am back on earth. louie, my bandmate, says people have been asking if we have cd's or regular gigs or a yahoogroup. wow. i guess we didn't suck that bad after all. i say it's awesome. but for now, i'm off to continue my sloth fest.

*special thanks to will, chi, berna and lalaine for being there

2006-03-09T12:11:00.000+08:00

summer days. the heat is back.

i went to a fundraiser last night; a send-off for mon david, who'll be competing in london for their first international jazz vocals competition. it was a fun night, despite my room temp beer. but hey, i ended up not paying for the beer, so i'm not complaining much. the music was as expected. that mike guevarra is pretty good!

i think i ought to go out and watch more gigs like these. the creativity is infectious. i found myself writing last night. wrote so much that i was too exhausted to watch football. reading the lyrics now, the stuff that i came up with wasn't bad. except for this one line, which sounded good when i was singing it in my head this morning... but when transcribed, it reads "and your eyes, your eyes, your eyes"
endless love ampucha!! hahahaha... ang pangit!

postscript.
because what would have been our first gig on 24th feb was postponed (damned rallies and proclamations!)...
"mars in love" @ powerbooks live!, greenbelt, this saturday, 11th march 2006. begins 7pm. hope i see some friendly faces in the crowd. =)

2006-03-01T05:41:00.000+08:00

as i packed up my electronics from the condo, will said "you're gonna miss me when i leave, 'no?" i nodded. idiot. what kind of a question is that? of course i'm gonna miss him! i'm gonna miss them all!

because will is leaving the country to work abroad very soon, i decided to move out of the condo.
most of my friends have left the company. there are only 2 of my good friends left there as of today. that's painful enough, but because of something else that happened over the weekend, i decided to quit.

i'm back to square one. i've thrown it all away in a moment of irritation. but i had to do something about it and it didn't seem right to just let it lie. so here i am, jobless and homeless by choice. i should be worried. instead, i could not be happier.

go on, ask me why i'm happy.
because, because, because!
despite the somber tone of this post, i am a big ball of energy right this moment. it's not the freedom from corporate life. it's not the sense of controlling your own destiny. it's just sheer happiness.
because i'm seeing e today!
yeah, i'm weird, i know.

2006-02-23T05:47:00.000+08:00

bumming this friday? catch "mars in love" 7pm, poetry nights at powerbooks greenbelt. we're a late addition and will only be playing two songs, but my band and mhs will be there.
running to work right after, though.
i'm not ready. gah. nerves.

2006-02-17T02:41:00.000+08:00

so my sister's wedding is over, they've left for roxas and boracay, and my life is back to normal. sort of.

the wedding went fairly well. at the hotel, we had to sneak around for the crew to take pictures because management wouldn't allow it. i must say, service at oakwood sucked. it really did. somerset, though small and quaint, was loads better. victor from franck provost was delighted to cut my hair. he decided to keep it down for the wedding. i got curls and half of it was up, i think. i dunno, i didn't really get to see it. i think it looked good, though. at any rate, i love my hair now. the make-up was subtle. nice.

they made some modifications so that i marched ahead, before my mom and the two younger boys to escort her, and the two older boys marched ahead of kathryn, not beside her. my sister did a recording for the bridal march. beautiful and surprising. most of knew that she could sing, but we've never heard her like that. very nice! during the actual bridal march, i couldn't look at kathryn. i knew that if i did, i wouldn't be able to stop from crying.

some cute moments from the kids. when the cord and veil was placed on the couple, tasha made her voice a little louder to be heard by the other kids over the lector. just as she did, there was silence and all of us up at front heard the most clear and adorable voice saying, "i think they're gonna kiss!" heeheeheehee.... when the rings and arrhae were to be blessed, david kept fidgeting. poor kid! apparently, he'd been needing to pee real bad.

will didn't have a ride, so i sent the driver to him, except that he never got my message to call the driver. he got there in time for the reception, just as the camera crew was ready to film the bride and groom going up to the hall. hahahaha... poor bloke. my family and all who saw him were curious, naturally. some simply assumed that he was my boyfriend. again... poor bloke.

the food... oh, the food. we started with a salad with shitake mushroom, scallop, and two servings of goose liver on the side. mmm... foie gras, je t'aime. then a lobster bisque. yum. some dalandan sorbet to clear the palette before the steak. yummy black angus with the best and creamiest garlic mashed potatoes i have ever had. dessert was a mango pie with mantecado ice cream. then, of course, there was the cake and the chocolate fountain fondue. heaven. absolute heaven. it was dark belgian chocolate. sadly, we were so full, we coudln't make the most of it. but, oh, will and i just kept coming back. such is the power of chocolate.

i was so nervous throughout dinner because of the damned speech i had to give. i wrote the speech only the day before and polished it just that morning. when i got there, i decided not to read it at all. i winged it, sort of. i dropped the idea of holding up the index cards because my hands were shaking like mad and i didn't want everyone to see. i missed a few points i wanted to bring up. but i also missed, a subconcious and intentional mistake perhaps, the part which i knew would make me cry. the only thing i read out loud was the actual toast and beginning, because i actually had a vision of myself going on auto pilot and saying "thank you for contacting ******, you're through to krys," instead of "thank you all for coming, for those of you who don't know me, my name is krys..."

i got a response from the crowd, which was surprising because they didn't seem to respond at all to anything else that had been said earlier that night. maybe they were just hungry. on my way back to the table, a man, i don't know who, congratulated me for a great speech. i hear a couple of other people liked it as well.

i heard that the night before the wedding, wev was crying. he really is an emotional guy, that one. i remember he cried the christmas we were at church before toonic's wedding, too. he again cried as my sister and ferdi had their fist dance. the biggest surprise for me, though, was toonic. he was crying, really crying, when they showed kathryn's half of the video that they had prepared. of course, that set me off. you can't expect me to not cry after seeing that much emotion from my usually stoic brother. whoever ivented waterproof mascara is brilliant.

when it was time to "throw the bouquet" they began calling out the names of the single girls. i knew that they had been planning to rig the thing so that i would get the little cake that had an engagement ring in it. true, i wanted the ring (precioussssss!), but i knew that it meant more to someone than it did to me. i wanted d to have the ring. they modified the toss. there were four roses and four girls. they said that anyone who didn't catch a rose would get the cake. d made an attempt at a catch, but didn't get a rose. but the organisers insisted that the rose on the floor was meant for her and that we read the little messages on each of the roses. mine had the congratulatory one. i got the cake and the ring.

for the the garter toss, they were actually calling out will's name. poor guy was like, "why do they keep saying 'william'? i hope that's not me...." i had to go and tell them to lay off him. khali got the garter. i think i'll give him the ring. (but it's mine! my own! my precioussss.)

anyhow, i'm happy. the wedding was good, the company was good, and i finally got all the stuff that i've been craving for since the holidays. foie gras, steak, pritchon and lechon (from the wilson dinner the next day), asti and chocolate. oh, joy.

2006-02-10T09:56:00.000+08:00

stop time!
stop. stop. stop. stop. stop.
please.

33 hours to go before my sister's wedding. i feel like there's so much to be done but that i can't do anything at all. i know that my sister probably feels the same way, only she'd be feeling it magnified to the -nth degree.

i have yet to make sure the dress fits alright and everything is ready. and take all accessories and anything else i might need. and make sure i've got all the cables and equipment i need for the music.
and write my speech. right. some two hundred people, strangers, friends, and worse... family, listening to me on the biggest day in the 40 years of my sister's life. i think i'm gonna be sick.

so instead, i'm here, writing about worrying about writing it. just hoping this will clear my head a little. thank goodness my sister doesn't have internet access right now. if she knew i was freaking out, she'd be freaking out more. not to worry. i write best under pressure. *snortle*

okay, enough procrastinating. time to get to work.
work. ugh, don't even get me started on that grease bag of a --- shutting up now.

2006-01-26T11:03:00.000+08:00

my sister is home! my sister is home! my sister is home!!! happy happy joy joy....

wev and khali picked me up last night in this horrid lemon yellow two-door lancer with a ridiculously high spoiler, a subwoofer in the trunk, an lcd screen, and funky lights. apparetly the rental we had arranged for my sister to use was still unavailable, so they gave us a high school boy's spaceship instead. it was a trip, though. we got some liempo from andok's and kizzi brought a few beers. we drank on the way to the airport and met up with toon there. after four years and four months, the six yuloy kids are complete again. it's odd how familiar we are with ferdi considering we've never met him. it's great, though! he must have been overwhelmed with all five of us there. we all agree, he's a cool guy. i'm looking forward to spending more time with them (with everyone, actually). they were talking of planning a weekend trip out of town. how i wish i could get weekends off.

i think i'll crawl back into bed. my back has been terrible lately, so bad that i've had to miss work. tests show nothing though, so it's probably just muscular strain. the doctor gave me an ointment to use which does help a bit. i'm thinking a two-hour massage would do me wonders.

2006-01-18T11:32:00.000+08:00

i think i've lost my voice from screaming too much while watching football. but it was well damn worth it!

i haven't watched spanish football since the start of the season. i know that barca is on the top of the league with osasuna 7 points behind them (go osasuna!!), and valencia and real madrid finishing the top four. no complaints from me as i love all four teams. i only wish betis could be up there, too.

i know that madrid hasn't been doing well this season but i did not know that they've been using a new coach recently and it's been doing wonders. i am soooooooo incredibly happy to have seen this game against sevilla.

iker may not be as sharp as i remember him to be, although he still is a great keeper. i remember a time when he'd make a save and be up again in half a second to make another save. this time, he let two goals in after making the initial saves. but no biggie.

that new brazilian player (forgot his name) is great, too. if solari and figo hadn't been traded to inter, they'd be doing really well with him. this new coach, caro, knows how to use his players.

zinedine zidane. zizou, my zizou. the man was on fire! i haven't seen him play like that in a while. he made an assist for the first goal, then scored the other three goals. yeah, baby... ain't nothing sweeter than a hat trick from your favorite player! like my brother once said, "that guy is just. plain. good." i was jumping up and down and screaming like an idiot with every madrid goal that was scored. *sigh* what i'd give to have been in that stadium for that game.

god, i love football.

2006-01-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

just when my crappy scores climb to a more acceptable figure, the bar is raised and i'm back to substandard crapiness. crappity crap crap crap.

but i had a good start to this week. let the sky come crashing. it doesn't matter when i am this happy.