16:38: building up to it was hell. i was getting palpitations and an acid attack. i turned into woody allen, all of a sudden. i couldn't calm myself. nerves at its worst. i started singing a verse from rent, trying to psyche myself. there's only now, there's only here. give in to love or live in fear. no other path, no other way, no day but today. then my friend suggested that i just sing the entire soundtrack of a play to take my mind off of it. so i started singing songs and it worked. i was still sining when it happened. they walked in, i stood up, went outside and gave it. the few minutes it took to process lasted for an excruciating eternity. i didn't know what was going to happen next. would things be said? would it be ignored? would things be completely ruined? i was worried that i hadn't explained it clearly enough. but i guess i didn't have to. i had underestimated our friendship. we know each other so well that we don't always need words to explain things.
it's all good now. things won't change, they can only get better.
i have never before felt more relieved or more alive. :)
oh, and thanks to the bitter little girl and the whiny little girl. i love you guys! couldn't not have done it without you!
brewed by lifecafe
