17:04: i'm slowly falling into a routine, which is never really good. routines make me restless. still i've got enough going on up there to keep me preoccupied. as long as i've got a notebook to write in and some good music, i'll be fine.

i've received some information that ought to make me happy, but i find myself paralysed with fear. i've never been good at this sort of thing. a part of me wants to forget about it altogether because i don't want complications.
...i'm going in to roger-mode here, aren't i? for all the renthead preaching i do, i am one huge chicken shit hypocrite.
*breathe*
ok, i'll do something about it. just wish i could find the right opportunity.

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15:49: my niece, natasha, had her showcase for the rep workshop on tuesday night. they did peter pan. kizzi said they offered her a lesser role for the first act, but she wouldn't take it. she told them she wanted to play wendy (primadonna! haha!). and so she did, for act 2. i kind of got scared when kizzi said that she insisted on playing wendy. i wasn't sure if she could hack it. she was one of the youngest ones in the class. her acting wasn't bad, comparatively. for a five-year old, it was good. but when she sang... tasha has the sweetest voice i have ever heard from someone so young, and i'm not just saying that because she's my niece. parents in the audience were coming up to us after the show to talk about her. other kids wanted to have their picture taken with her. i'm so proud of her! *sniff* the 8-year old boy who played peter pan (and kissed tash!) also deserves kudos. he had the best acting and his voice was very good. all in all, the kids were hilarious and adorable. one of the better children's showcases i've seen.


rian, me and tash

kizzi called just now to tell me that rep wants tash to audition for sound of music. awwww.

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15:52: zinedine zidane has played his last match with real madrid. he will be retiring after playing for france in the 2006 world cup. i cried last night. i felt genuine loss. it still makes me cry to think of it. yes, i am that much of a football dork.

you have to understand that although i've always liked football, i did not become a true fan until zizou. my lukewarm interest in the sport turned into near fanaticism after seeing him handle the ball. true, there have been greater players before him and there are greater players that i favor now, and he no longer moves with the same elfin grace, but zizou has always been and will always be my guy. watching him has taught me the true meaning of poetry in motion. i had never heard of zidane before i saw him play and no one needed to even mention him before i recognised his skill. you don't need lip service with this guy. watch him play, and you will know what good football is about.

merci beaucoup, zizou, adieu!

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16:13: i kicked my niece off the pc so i could use it. nyahahaha. evil. sometimes, i feel sorry. not today, though.

i hate that we're forced to lie to seem more credible to others. it seems even more silly because most people don't have what it takes to make the lies they've created for themselves believable. oh, well. such is life. we do as we're told and we get paid.

i feel myself starting to get sick. got that itch in the back of my throat and that raw feeling. i wish i could afford berocca. for now, i have to rely on rest and good ol' agua. lots of it, too. methinks we're getting our first set of regular students tomorrow.

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