10:49: happy that i got an excellent dose of jazz at wasabi the other night. drums, upright bass, piano, vocals. my favorite set-up. sandra is fun to watch. you can pick out a lot of influences in her style. probably the best scatting i've heard locally. of course, romy is just ... wow. wide-grin fun. my friends left early, which is a shame. mhs had a gig at freedom, which is also a shame. they did drop buy afterwards to pick me up, however. all good. fun, fun, fun.
bummed that jazz nights at wasabi are coming to an end. monk's has relocated yet again, i just don't know where to.

happy that i finally saw my bandmates again. even if we had a lot of unseen company at obbie's. didn't sleep much, though i tried. didn't drink much either. i was quite happy watching dvd's.
bummed that i couldn't stay with them the rest of the day to watch the gig later that night.

happy that they've decided to tighten some screws. i suggested getting doobs to help us out. i've heard his other stuff before and i liked it.
bummed that i can't seem to get a hold of doobs these days.

happy that i'm working again.
bummed that i have to start on my favorite holiday of the year.

enjoy the long holiday, people! in the name of geekdom and all things weird, have fun for me!

brewed by lifecafe  

 
04:24: it must be idiotic accident week or something.

last tuesday, i dreamt that i was in a hotel room with bitter little girl, abby, my old college friend, my cool lit prof, and someone else who was supposed to be a friend from college. the five of us were just talking and laughing when we noticed a chicken trying to get in through our window. how on earth a chicken managed to fly that high, i'm sure i don't know. but there it was, pecking away at our window. then we all pretended to be asleep, as if that would stop the chicken from bothering us. the chicken was relentless. it just kept pecking and it was starting to crack the glass. jeremy, my prof, decided to just let it in before it broke the window completely. he got up from the bed to open the window. when the chicken came in, my cat, fitz started to attack it, which was fine wih us, since we didn't want the chiken there anyway. but then the chicken started pecking at fitz and fitz began to meow her complaints. so, being the dumbass footballer-wanna-be that i am, i got up and kicked the chicken out of there.
in reality, i kicked the wall at full force with my foot having been just six inches away from it. i woke up from the throbbing pain to find about a quarter of an inch of skin had been scraped off from my toe. and i didn't even have the satisfaction of seeing the damn chicken fly out the window. oh, but i did have my revenge. i had kfc for dinner.

yesterday, my toe was much better and i decided to go to makati for something. i hitched with wev and it started to rain pretty hard. the cab we rode had screeching wipers from hell. i don't mean squeaky, people, i mean nails down the blackboard SCREEEECHING, the kind that's physically painful. it's a good thing i keep my earplugs in a little case attached to my bag. anyhow, i was on my way home, walking along paseo de roxas towards ayala. i took the little service road over by the ayala triangle and took a couple of pictures. the ground was still wet and muddy so that when i shifted my weight to put my camera back in my bag, i started to slip. it was one of those things that you feel go in slow motion so you try to control how you fall. i made sure the camera was safely in my bag then stuck my right hand out in such a way that the envelope i was holding wouldn't land flat on the mud. as a result, i got scratches on the back of my hand, and mud all over my right pant leg, which basically screamed out to everyone who didn't see me fall that yes, i am indeed a klutz. the most annoying thing about it was the lone witness to my accident, a man who was about two feet away from me when it happened. as i was getting up from the ground he remarked, "madulas." taena! hindi nga? kaya nga nadulas yung tao, eh!

brewed by lifecafe  

 
03:30: i know what i should do. i know what i want to do. it's a damn shame that they are two opposing courses of action. i can't think straight anymore. i'm being jerked back and forth by my emotions. it kind of makes me wish i were schizophrenic so i could have multiple voices in my head and they could converse and argue and come up with a consensus.

i have observed two things. one is that i think too much, which yields little or no results whatsoever. two is that i sometimes act too quick and do not think enough. the latter gets results. pretty good ones, actually. so. knowing that impulsive decisions work well for me, do i make one now, despite knowing that things could get very ugly? or do i listen instead to reason and do nothing and continue to be nothing?

brewed by lifecafe  

 
05:54: "did you see the sunset? was it beautiful?" i wanted to ask. but i don't want to open a can of worms. maybe it's nothing. maybe what they have is a deep sort of friendship, like me and e. yeah, ok, that's not a very good example. maybe it's like me and matthias. or maybe i'm projecting my own guilt onto it and i'm making too much of it. i like to believe in the goodness and integrity and honesty and fidelity that can be found in man. i have too much faith in man. that makes me a raging idiot.

as for my own guilt.... it's as if every single thing i watch on tv is laying a huge guilt trip on me. but this new thing i found out is the kicker. it definitely puts things in perspective. i still keep wavering, though.

brewed by lifecafe