22:12: elthoron está saindo. merda!
and the punches keep coming.
eu não quero perdê-lo.

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19:07: just called my mom. she said she's pass by for me in a bit. i was supposed to go with them to bina tomorrow, but i decided not to join them.

little wet salt trails on my cheeks. don't know why.

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00:28: under orders of my brother, i am not allowed to go on fast this maundy thursday and good friday. i usually go on a 48-hour bread and water diet towards the end of holy week. something i picked up from my sister, i think. i'm not particularly religious. consider it my penance for my other 363 days of sin.

it would always be frustrating to be with my friends while they party and feast (the heathens! i'm kidding. i love you all.) while i ate my bread until midnight of saturday. but considering i had been starving myself and the first thing i would reach for come midnight would be the vodka or whatever poison was available, it wouldn't take long before i could catch up and reach their level of inebriation.

this year, it happens that the doctor put me on antibiotics for 10 days. my replacement sacrifice? no tv. help.

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01:51: although i would feel more secure watching over mom myself while she's in wilson, i'm going to have to leave that task to the capable hands of muzzy and her battalion of maids. i can't stay there. not when i'd probably have to share a room with that schmuck who calls himself my dad's brother.

so here i am back in broadway, where i can resume my late night marathon viewing of whatever movies or tv series i choose. that and take advantage of the all important internet, of course. and the phone. oh, yes, the phone! but what i really want to do right now is read. except i've run out of books to read. ok, that's not true. i've got a whole bunch of unread books. i just don't want to read them because my mind is still set on reading more of maguire's novels.

a question still needs to be answered: what do we do about mom once she comes back home to broadway? hmmm. family conference.

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03:26: my mom has been staying at the wilson house since the second time we took her to the hospital. though there are other people at wilson fully able to look after my mom, i've been staying with her. i go back home here once or twice a week to get things and to check on fitz. moving back and forth from wilson to broadway... it's wearing me down. not to mention my cat isn't getting the attention she deserves when i'm away and i get too tired to play with her when i'm here. i need a break. i wish i could go to the beach this summer.

i wonder if i should spend holy week out of town? even if it's just in the bina house. i wonder what he's doing for holy week? i wonder if....

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02:48: i ordered 2 jazz concert dvd's recently, right? both were krall. i only just got around to watching them. i have got to see that woman perform live. must. i still hate myself for giving up my concert tickets to her manila show a couple of years back. i won't let that happen again. but then when is she ever coming back to manila? and now, of course, star world keeps airing the ad to diana krall's concerts in hong kong and singapore this month and next. dammit. now what was that line that jason alexander once said on seinfeld? oh right. "sticking it!!!!"

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10:32: have not been able to catch up on sleep. we are insisting on taking mom to the hospital. wev, khali and i will follow. my sister thinks that it's best to keep her under observation for a day or two. i just hope she stops trying to argue her way out of confinement.

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02:14: crazy, crazy day. i apologize if this doesn't make any sense. my brain is mush.

right after i published the previous entry below, i had to attend to my mom. she was feeling faint and was vomiting. i got her ice chips and an ice pack, sent my sister an sos via yahoo messenger, woke wev up, then got mom dressed to go the emergency room. poor wev was all alone, stuck in a comically frustrating situation at the hospital. i, having had no sleep, did not want to be a useless zombie in the ER, so i stayed home on standby. some hours later, mom was released. she's much batter now.

i finally got to sleep at 5pm, but got a rude awakening 4 hours later. i found money on the dining table and was told that it was for whiny little girl. from my brother. i was shaking with rage when i found out that she called while i was asleep and asked for help from wev. although wev was willing to help her, i insisted that he keep his money and told him i would talk to her. thank god i calmed down before she came because i was ready to hurt her with things other than words. i told her that our house was open to her if she needed help. if she didn't want to stay at home. or if she wanted to leave him at any time. but i was not financing her shitheadedness.
i didn't want to be a total bitch. i tried to tell her all that i've been feeling in the past months that we hadn't spoken... thorugh few words, little gestures. i figured she wouldn't have any money for her trip back. i gave her transportation money and whatever change i had in my wallet. she said she'd call. i don't know if i'm looking forward to it.

the good end to this horrendous day? a phone conversation.
like him much?
much.
though i still am not expecting much.
i am a terribly, hopelessly romantic pessimist, aren't i?

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06:33: it wouldn't be fair not to write about the girls of american idol after having devoted an entire entry to the boys, now would it? but i don't know their names, so bear with me.

sigh. why isn't aloha still in this competition?

afro girl did good. i feel she should have sung the song in a higher key, but it was good anyway.

freaky little girl, who my friend refers to as gary coleman's sister (my brother objects and argues that gary coleman was cute and she isn't), butchered selena's song. out, i say!

carrie is carrie is carrie. kind of boring song, but still good.

it doesn't matter what vegas showgirl sings, or how she sings it. she's distractingly attractive and people will keep voting for her.

mikalah, with the young-streisand-as-fannie-brice personality. difficult song, specially since she's been having problems with her low notes since the start of the competition. i think the other half that doesn't find her annoying will still vote for her.


now for futbol. leave know if the sport bores you or if you don't want to know the results for some of this week's champion's league matches.

painful that barcelona was beaten by the english blue shirts with the arrogant albeit very effective coach yesterday. still, one of the best football games i've ever seen in my life, that.
real madrid lost to juventus today. management's mistake was to bring in solari, guti and owen too late. if owen had more time with ronaldo still in the game, they would have scored and won on the away goal. the ronaldo send-off hurt madrid more than the tacchi-whatshisface send-off hurt juve. some even argue that ronaldo, being only a retaliator in the incident, should have gotten off with a yellow card, not a red card. he would not have tripped anyone if unprovoked, after all. then madrid has samuel, who keeps making bad challenges and giving away free kicks. bloody idiot never learns.
it's no embarrassment for the spanish teams to be beaten by either team, of course. chelsea is at the top of the premiere league and juve is still in championship contention for serie a. it's just disappointing.
even werder bremen was slaughtered by lyon, 2-10 aggregate. ouch! an 8-goal defeat is crushing.
the delayed game isn't over, but it isn't likely that bayern leverkusen will catch up to liverpool.
i take comfort in knowing ac milan and bayern munich are through.

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21:11: thoughts on idol.

scott scares me. like he could do a trench coat mafia attack any minute.

i didn't like his song this week, but bo is alright. he needs a queer eye makeover. or maybe just a session with kyan.

mario. well done! i was beginning to lose interest in this guy, but this last performance got my attention. i used to think he was cute, but looking closely, he looks like my mom's younger brother. not a bad thing, but a bit creepy to me.

anthony. it's good that he chose that song, but i agree with simon's polar bear comment. the guy is just so white! and i don't just mean skin color. i mean he's got no soul, no spice. he's ... white.

constantine. heeheehee... cutie. he's like a grungified robert plant conforming to american idol's standards. vocally not as good as some of the others, but i do like him. i just hope he won't go back to screaming like he did when he sang hard to handle. i hope he makes it, if only to see him try and dance again. hahaha....

anwar. this guy kicks ass. from his initial audition, he has been one of my favorites. he really knows how to use his voice and his adlibs are brilliant! so very different from your typical r&b artist who will dish out overdone adlibs with notes that kind of make you think "where is he going with this?" or worse, "so what?"

not too excited about tomorrow. the girls aren't as good this year. farm girl carrie is good, but surely, this year's idol will have the y chromosome.

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17:21: i asked my cat if i could give her a second name. don't laugh! really, i asked. i asked if i could add malky to her name. she meowed. i asked if she was really ok with it. she meowed. i asked if i could call her elphie. she looked away and attempted to jump off my lap. fitzgerld malky it is, then.

i am just a little past the first half of wicked. it's very, very, very different from the musical. so different that it wouldn't be fair to compare one with the other. i'm loving it, though. wicked, indeed. at times witty, at times downright funny, a tad morbid, mostly thought-provoking. baby elphie is oddly adorable. or adorably odd. it works both ways.

"However in the world did her skin come green?" Nanny wondered, stupidly, for Melena blanched and Frex reddened, and the baby held her breath as if trying to turn blue to please them all. Nanny had to slap her to make her breathe again.

 
12:29: i came home from work this morning to find a nicely wrapped present on the dining table with my name on it. my birthday present from kizzi and his wife and daughter. two months late, but who's counting? i read the card. "so sorry for the late gift... took time to find... initially got the wrong book..."

book?

my eyes widened in anticipation. i tried to be the good and patient little girl. i started unwrapping it carefully, working on one corner. but the tape was too sticky and it was wrapped so tight and i couldn't wait to see what it was and i didn't have the emotional quotient to wait another 5 minutes. so i ripped the wrapper up. it was ... the back of the book. which i didn't want to read until i knew what it was. *flip* gasp! there it was. gregory maguire's wicked!!! it's mine! all mine! i picked it up and did a little happy dance. i could have fallen into the crack of doom and melted, and i'd still be smiling.

i have gone to every known and every obscure bookstore in the metro looking for any of maguire's books. any of his adult books, that is. regardless of my love for the musical that it gave birth to, when it comes down to the story and lead characters, wicked was the one i wanted the most. my brother ordered it and when he came to pick it up, some guy from trumpets wanted to buy it off of him. but my brother refused, of course. heehee. sorry, dude. you mentioned to my brother you know (of) me. if i do know you, you can borrow it when i'm done. nyahahahaha. meantime, here is an excerpt.

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13:22: i caught lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events. that's a mouthful, ain't it? i know his books were packaged and marketed as children's books, but are they really?? the humor is dark and a bit morbid. not really what most parents would want their kids to be reading, i'd think. but i do love it. hehe.

the movie was a lot of fun, much like gregoire moulin contre l'humanite. it threw a lot of punches that some people had missed. i thought it was hilarious that they cast john cleese as uncle monty for the reptile room chapter. i felt like a fool laughing by myself. note: always watch comedies with friends, specially friends who share the same brand of humor.

i thought the music was great and the treatment of the film fit the books quite well. i would love to see it retold in animation, like what they had in the end credits, but then you'd miss out on jim carrey. the man is a character. bloody brilliant as count olaf!


oscar results. ho-hum. i have always followed the oscars, but i fear things have changed for me. geekdom turned me into a rabid fan and now that the lotr oscar frenzy has ended, awards night has become less exciting. still, i am extremely glad about the best actor and the two screenplay awards. a bit disappointed about kate winslet not winning, especially since it's her 4th nomination and this time it's for a film i really love, but for some reason i expected hilary swank to win. despite grabbing the major awards, i still need more convincing to go see million dollar baby. i know most people think clint eastwood films are good, but i ... don't share their enthusiasm.

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