12:43: for san, jose, and schmidt. and for anyone else who may have lost someone or may be lost.

sometimes these things happen. we can keep questioning it, but we will never fully understand the reasons why.

if you're directly affected by it, you stop, in a state of shock. time stops for you. then you wish you could pull back the thread, back to when things made sense. but the only thing we have is the little unreliable recorder that runs in our heads. we play it over and over, but "the 3d imax of your mind" doesn't always stay as clear over the years. in time, the memories fade and we start to panic. we start to forget little details. but the truth is, as much as we want to preserve those memories, it's not the details that are important... it's the experiences themselves. the things that have shaped us and have truly stayed with us. that's all that counts.

from an outsider's perspective, you have a clearer head. you think about your own mortality. you remember all the clichés... life is short... carpe diem... no day but today. you think about the things that are important to you. all the things you would like to accomplish while you still have the time. and if you're smart enough, you start acting on them today.


what does this mean to me? this means i need to give some serious thought about my life and where i really want to go.

Labels: updates, yuloys

 
06:15: we came in late, see? wasn't sure if the front act had already played or not. but the lights were up and people were walking around, talking to friends who happened to be there. i stayed in my seat, catching up with the two friends who were watching with me, and gawking at my college crush who was seated just a few seats away from me. when the lights went out, people cheered. then people from the 3 rows in front of us started standing. i stood as well, just to check. i expected to see ely. instead i saw him. the god of industrial rock. trent frickin' reznor. i screamed like a fan girl and didn't sit down again until after the show was done. college crush was the first person to stand on his seat and did not once step down from that chair. he was singing along to practically every song. i swear, he's the biggest NIN fan i know. nice to see him enjoying himself. i had fun, too. it was frustrating, trying to get decent photos when all you've got is a camera phone with crappy digital zoom and no flash. but the music was great. and the seats, as expected, were killer. i would've wanted to hear more stuff, but i was pretty happy with what they did. it was so cool when people in the crowd were using lighters and the backllights of their mobile phones when the band toned it down. hearing the fragile was awesome. i was glad i had a jacket on coz i could feel my hair standing on end. overall, a great experience. and, i have to say, NIN + a towel + a can of W = holy hell!

Labels: gigs, raves