12:43: for san, jose, and schmidt. and for anyone else who may have lost someone or may be lost.

sometimes these things happen. we can keep questioning it, but we will never fully understand the reasons why.

if you're directly affected by it, you stop, in a state of shock. time stops for you. then you wish you could pull back the thread, back to when things made sense. but the only thing we have is the little unreliable recorder that runs in our heads. we play it over and over, but "the 3d imax of your mind" doesn't always stay as clear over the years. in time, the memories fade and we start to panic. we start to forget little details. but the truth is, as much as we want to preserve those memories, it's not the details that are important... it's the experiences themselves. the things that have shaped us and have truly stayed with us. that's all that counts.

from an outsider's perspective, you have a clearer head. you think about your own mortality. you remember all the clichés... life is short... carpe diem... no day but today. you think about the things that are important to you. all the things you would like to accomplish while you still have the time. and if you're smart enough, you start acting on them today.


what does this mean to me? this means i need to give some serious thought about my life and where i really want to go.

Labels: updates, yuloys

 
01:20: been watching this mini-series on tv5 (the french channel, not the former local channel, abc 5) called fete de famille. it's about a family, the merciers, who meet to celebrate their mother's birthday. before they can even start lunch, the mom leaves to run off with another man. last week, there was this scene where the children were asked to meet with their mother and her new beau. just as she arrives with the new guy, the father shows up, walks into the diner, punches the guy in the face, then walks out and drives off before anyone can talk to him. i had a look of shock for about 3 seconds before i exploded into laughter. man, i wish i could do that. i wish any of us could. better yet, i wish my dad could magically rise from his grave, or ashes, i suppose, and just pummel that guy's fat face.

yes, i have a lot of anger. i'm ok, for the most part, as long as i am not provoked. i was provoked last friday over an otherwise excellent dinner prepared by my brother. my brother handled it with excellent tact and wit. hopefully things will go smoothly from now on, but i really highly doubt it. that f******d just seems completely oblivious to all the grief he has caused and continues to lay on us.

anyway, back to that mini-series i was watching. i just watched its final episode, where charlotte, the youngest girl refused to have her wedding unless her father walked her down the aisle. after almost 10 years, i just realized something. it's embarrassing, mostly because it isn't the sort of thing i'd really think of. but i really would have wanted for fuzz to have walked me down the aisle and even dance with me on my wedding day. =(

Labels: yuloys

 
15:55: people at work have been asking me about khali. apparently, there are rumors spreading over text that he's dead.

you sick fucks.

karl roy is fine. stop spreading dumb rumors. if you want details and you know me personally, ask me.

Labels: updates, yuloys

 
20:48: living in this house sometimes feels like being in a sitcom. when you sit in the living room and just watch people, you'll notice that as one person leaves, someone else enters. then there's the crazy dialogue, evidence that people here don't really listen to each other (one of my pet peeves). take the conversation over dinner, for example. my brother was fixing the text settings on my niece's word document.

wev: you're ready to print, ri.
rian: ok! tell me when you're ready to print. that's on december 6 na, eh.
wev: when do you need it? (and not in a tone that asks "what did you just say?")

wev: you didn't have an egg cooked for me? ri, have yaya fry naman an egg for me. and have her heat my rice, too.
ri: ok, dad! (goes into the kitchen then comes back out 15 seconds later) dad, do you want egg?

 
15:15: from east to north west, to west, to south and out of manila. bridgeview, where we met angela and they were treated like royalty even before they played a pretty good set. to kc's, then to my house, where i had to pack for the beach trip. to martin's, where i learned to play bridge and teamed up with bruce and we tried to read each other's minds without much success. we slept at 6am when we were ridiculously laughing at any and every little thing because we were so sleepy. woke louie up so he could get ready to leave for martin's. slept a few hours until jon and charles got there. had breakfast when mark arrived and we headed for batangas.

nasugbu, where we cleaned house, cooked, ate, swam, tossed around a disc, drank, and played cards. mark, louie and i laughed at the others because we couldn't join them. everyone laughed at louie because ... well. if he had a hug counter this past weekend like i do on this blog, he'd probably have a higher hug count than i do right now. butt cramps galore on the ride back to manila, but we did get back safely. i made it to my family dinner where the first thing kizzi said to me was "you're brown." i had wine, wine, water, water, water, coffee, a damn good sandwich with three kinds of damn good mustard, lasagna, and some kfc. there was also an evil looking cake, death by chocolate, but my stomach was regrettably filled to capacity.

ayos!

Labels: hang-out stories, trips and long weekends, yuloys